when calling to report an attempted break-in that started outside my apartment.

a domestic abuser. They're shocked! He just wasn't like that! The abuser friend never hit his wife when he was with him.

of course they wouldn't have seen him assault anyone. "I never saw Jeffrey Dahmer dismember anybody, so he can't possibly have done any such thing!"

The lawyer was referring to the way Moore acted toward women while in the lawyer's presence, though.

Perps typically don't offend when there are witnesses. I doubt Jeffery Dahmler hosted a lot of dinner parties.

Do you take checks?

There’s probably lots of people he didn’t grope, solicit, proposition, molest, or otherwise sexually assault.

Is this lawyer you’re talking about the guy I’m calling Dumb Lawyer? The guy with bad grammar who went to an unaccredited law school and got his Masters in Divinity mail order from Pat Robertson? I hope so. He’s the most entertaining buffoon I’ve seen on TV since the Michael Scott character left The Office. There’s a fifty-fifty shot he’s actually Ashton Kutcher in a bald cap playing an elaborate prank.

that was read on tv today. I thought the lawyer was a slender slick looking guy, but I may have him confused with someone else. Now that I think of it, it's not likely the slender fellow is from Alabama.

Lemon smacked him down the second time.

The same jerk also suggested that Ali Velshi's "cultural background" undoubtedly helped him understand how grown men want to date and marry teenaged girls.

to shave his legs and wear a Sailor Moon costume and then get back to us...

You go to war with the idiot client you've got...

Nine women (so far) have gone on record about his disgusting behavior, but his MALE lawyer says he's never seen it. Okay.

Link to tweet