Truer words were never spoken.

A confident person does not fear to ask for what they want, and a rejection is not perceived as a blow to their ego or self-worth.

So many clueless guys bemoan "so we're not allowed to flirt with women". No, you're allowed to (verbally and courteously) flirt with women, but you need to be perceptive enough to know when your flirting isn't working and back off without pushing it to the point of harassment. Flirting is gauging potential romantic interest, not a desperate and un-refusable gambit to open the door to intimacy. If your flirtation doesn't work, and cannot be retracted politely with a smile and without hurt feelings or embarrasment on either side; if your only available responses to rejection are "push harder and keep trying" or something along the lines of "she's a cold bitch and probably a lesbian because she doesn't want me...", you're doing it wrong.

Most women have a pretty good idea of the game and how to signal you politely that they're not interested, and you need to recognize those signals and respect them. It shouldn't be a big secret that women really don't want to hurt your feelings, but if you push too hard, their only recourse is might be to spell out their rejection bluntly and in front of witnesses. If she rejects you politely, that doesn't mean don't speak to her ever again cause she rejected you and you're embarrassed now and need to save face by deciding she's a bad person - she'll actually appreciate you more when she understands you can respect her boundaries and still remain on friendly terms with her.

And that doesn't mean sometime in the future when you know each other better you can't politely invite her for coffee (so long as there's no reason she couldn't, like a husband or other relationship) and you need to still be okay and remain friendly if she again says no.

Can they overcome the hard wiring to procreate with as many women as possible,
Darwinism, to ensure survival of the species? Can they overcome centuries of a patriarchal
society where women were fair game?

Can men take the leap and become civilized and treat women as equals?
Create a safe and comfortable planet for women?

Apologies to men have already evolved.

Important conversation.

About time this was said. Women have been blamed for their own assaults for too long. Years ago when I was living in LA and listened to KPFK, this issue was being discussed. I called in and said that I really didn't understand the confusion on the part of a lot of men when it came to this issue, because as far as I was concerned, it was a no-brainer. If, as a man, you don't want something done or said to YOUR wife, daughter, mother, etc., DON'T do or say it to someone else's.

If he feels he cannot be in the company of a female unless his wife (aka mommy) is present that suggests self-control problems.
He also famously won't use alcohol in the presence of women.

So, I can't help but wonder how he got so nervous about routine interactions.

Here is a copy of one of my posts from another thread (Men's jobs are Sacred), in response to a comment that "We are also trained that it our fault for arousing them":


That is for damn sure.

My mom, now 95 and a retired nurse, beat it into my head that not only was I responsible for my own sexual behavior, I was also in charge of that of any guy I dated. The basic gist of the message was that men were so easily aroused that women had to be very careful not to allow this to happen, because to cause sexual arousal and not "follow through" with intercourse was cruel - erections that were not allowed to proceed to their usual conclusion were unbearably painful.

Any time I indulged in more than a handful of kisses, I feared I was courting disaster. Like pretty much all moms of daughters, she feared a teen or out of wedlock pregnancy. Understandable. The conditioning was very effective. I was almost 23 when I chose to cross the no-longer-a-virgin threshold, and I made damn sure I was on the pill before I did so.

I also think women are conditioned to always "be nice," and not hurt people's feelings. How many of us have gone on a second or third date with a guy we didn't really care for at all on the first date, because we worried he would think we were mean if we turned him down? I certainly did.

because it supposedly helps those men "control themselves".