SATIRE by Andy Borowitz
Illustration by Vivienne Luo, age three

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The version of the tax bill that Republican senators voted for early Saturday morning included scribbles in the margins by Mitch McConnell’s grandchild, the Senate Majority Leader has confirmed.

The scribbles, which the two-year-old drew when his grandfather left a copy of the bill unattended during Thanksgiving, were mistaken by Republican staff members for the work of McConnell himself and were hurriedly incorporated into the bill.

McConnell struck a philosophical note when he disclosed to reporters that the random crayon squiggles were on the verge of becoming the law of the land. “Laws are like sausages—it’s better not to see them being made,” he chuckled.

The Congressional Budget Office estimated that the toddler’s scrawl would add one trillion dollars to the budget deficit and result in ten million Americans losing their homes, but said that the scribbles were the most coherent passage in the bill.