DFW, I'm wondering why when asked what she was supposed to do with the second bottle you didn't remark that it was for her brother? Unless there was conversation you didn't relate to us it seems to me, I may be wrong, that you assumed she thought one bottle was only for her brother.
Since he is not at the shop as much as she is why not mention that it was for him?
I'm may not be very clear in what I'm trying to say.

My wife and I have been having discussions about this very subject. She is pointing out to me the way that men are just assumed to be the one in charge when there is a pairing of the genders.
You're correct it is going to be an uphill battle. There are so many things that men will need to change in their way of thinking it may take generations. But change begins one step, one revelation at a time.

Please, I did not point this out to chastise you, just to point out that men's exceptionalism is an ingrained thing that we must start to recognize and change.

Forgive me if I upset you that was not my intention.

Occasionally when My husband and I go somewhere someone will come up to him and ask "is that your Corvette out there?"

My husband always replies "No, it's my wife's, she lets me drive it sometimes."

He isn't perfect. I got on him about calling a women he works with a girl. I asked him how old is she? He said in her 40's. Uhnah, she is not a girl. A girl is in her teens. She is a full grown woman. Would you say "the boy who leads the crew?"

Both bottles were handed to the woman. When she asked what she was supposed to do with a second bottle, I would have told her it was for her brother, and not assume she believed neither bottle was for her.

That was my first thought too!

Her brother is the proprietor of the shop, and the top people usually get the bottles. That's how it usually works in France. If the "boss" isn't in, the employees usually just accept them and hold them and it is an unwritten rule that the bosses get the bottles, and offer the people that work for them a glass or two if they see fit. To put the employee on an equal basis with the boss is as unusual in France as it is in the USA, especially if the employee is a woman, but since I had known both of them for years, and always considered them on an equal basis, I never treated the one or the other as unequal members of a hierarchy. In that respect, I am a minority. But being an "exotic foreigner," they accept my odd quirks.

Just goes to show we have a very step uphill battle for true equality. I've been relating this conversation to Ms. N_E_1 she chuckled and said that what she had to say next would probably land her in hot water.

My dear partner of 44 years, btw today is our wedding anniversary, said that women will have to change their attitude also, probably more than men. She said she knows too many women that love to "be taken care of by men" and until you can start to change those attitudes along with others the climb will be even steeper. She didn't get into what "the others" were.

Ms. N_E_1 is a very independent and headstrong woman. Only one of the qualities that attracted her to me.

This change is worldwide and culture wide. Patriarchy has given us this screwed up version of humanity elderly men dictating what is right and what we are supposed to believe, how we are supposed to act. I truly believe it's time for a shift to a Matriarchal society.

Happy anniversary, by the way!

My wife and I met over 43 years ago, but she said she wasn't ready to get married just yet (we were 22), and by the time we were both ready, none of us had the time. Fortunately, my brother invited us to our wedding, so it all worked out (it happened to be his wedding, too, so we just made it a double, and the parents were all very peaceful because no one spoke any of the others' languages, which were Japanese and German).

My wife is also a very independent type, and indeed, said I was the first man she stayed with long term because I never crowded her. She is from a small town in the northwestern German farm country, and apparently her first boyfriends were very possessive and jealous, and never left her any breathing room. As the first three and a half of our "togetherness" was spent doing trans-atlantic commuting, each of us had plenty of opportunities to jump ship. Neither of us did--she, probably because she was too nearsighted to see clearly what a nerd I was, and me because I was not so stupid as to let something so trivial as an ocean come between me and the finest woman I would ever meet.

She would consider me constantly wanting to "take care of her" a burdensome nuisance except when she really needs it. She has had two serious battles with cancer, and won twice. But they weren't easy. I took time off from work, and I have the luxury of working for the same outfit that recruited me 42 years ago, led by the same enlightened individuals, who told me to take off "all the time I needed, at full pay." Needless to say, I did.

It's so true what you say about elderly men wanting to dictate our beliefs to us. Whether it's Dick Cheney, an ISIS imam, an Ayatollah or a Republican Senate Majority leader. The leadership of all of the above has led to disaster in the country they led/lead, and women just do not have as bad a track record. Even in countries where corruption is the norm for those in power, Pakistan fared better under Benny Bhutto than under Zia or his successors, Indira Gandhi did a more credible job in India than her successors, Angela Merkel vs. Gerhard Schröder isn't even a contest, and no one with an IQ in double digits needs even ponder if Hillary might have done a better job in the Oval Office that the Donald.

This happens in so many ways that it's sometimes to hard to see it when it's right in front of us. My son pointed this out to my husband when we were watching Jeopardy once. Ingrained is a good way to put it.

There was a thread here about JK Rowling's tweet about God and many people heard a male voice right off the bat. That in an of itself is not sexist but I found it interesting.

What makes you say that?

And she catches on to things faster than he does (though not much)

Her reaction would be strange here.

Not quite the same, but last summer someone was talking about her daughter's difficulties with breastfeeding in France. Apparently there are no accommodations made for it, at least not in whatever region she was living in, and as for hauling one of the girls out in public, not hardly, not even under a blanket. When she asked her hostess for a place where she could be private, apparently that simply wasn't done also.

she would have asked for a couple more bottles. I find many people quite ungracious about gifts these days.

How unpleasant. In defense of someone I've never met, DFW's description makes it sound very unlikely that this person would behave that way anywhere.

My job usually takes me to a different country every day of the week, so I do not spend time voluntarily with people that are that kind of unpleasant. This brother and sister team are from a mix of cultures (French, Jewish, Arab) that I find interesting and always refreshing to talk to. They are intelligent, very much products of the various cultures that constitute their background, but very open to other people having their own backgrounds (such as me). They also both have great senses of humor, which is why I like dropping by and spending time with them. Greed is more foreign to them than the texts on the scrolls in a Tibetian monastery.

Many of us are in a very negative mood these days, though. Reaction to anxiety I imagine.

They sound like delightful people.

Not "Conservative" as in the USA, meaning right-wing assholes, but meaning the old traditions, heavily influenced by its Catholic history. Their labor unions have a power that is strong enough to bring the country to a screeching halt whenever they like, and there are strikes frequently. Their communists respect the traditional slogan of "workers of the world, unite," but disdain what communism became when it manifested itself as a country's leadership, i.e. fancy limousines and villas for the rulng elite, and material misery for the masses. They claim to respect women's rights, but often refuse to recognize rights for women (such as the breast feeding you mentioned). For that matter, I never saw a woman publicly breastfeeding in the former East Germany, where it rarely raised an eyebrow in West Germany.

Ce que tu décris, je l'ai souvent constaté.

Chaque fois que je vais à Paris, je ne rate jamais l'occasion de faire un tour à Barbès. Oui, je sais, ce n'est pas le quartier le plus chic de Paris mais je ne suis pas snob

En fait, outre le quartier très animé et généralement sympa, il y a plein de boutiques, pratiquement des cavernes d'Ali Baba, où tu trouves ton bonheur à prix plus que raisonnable. Je parle de choses de qualité, notamment les bijoux et les tissus. Que ce soit des tissus d'ameublement ou d'habillement.

Beaucoup de ces magasins sont tenus par des pieds-noirs d'Algérie. Plus exactement, étaient tenus, puisque beaucoup sont maintenant gérés par les enfants qui sont nés en France et ont donc baigné toute leur vie dans les valeurs de la République.

Et pourtant, l'égalité des sexes est loin d'être acquise. Je l'ai souvent perçu lors des marchandages. C'est un de mes petits plaisirs et c'est presque incontournable dans ces boutiques
C'est coloré, très gestuel, moitié arabe (enfin dialecte arabe) moitié français, quelques mots piqués dans à peu près toutes les langues du monde, beaucoup de cinéma, de fausse colère et d'indignation mais au final, une affaire conclue à la satisfaction de tous et une "réconciliation" autour d'un thé et quelques makrouds

Quand je marchandais avec les femmes et quand on s'était mise d'accord, systématiquement, elle se tournait vers le mâle présent pour l'accord, alors même que ça ne posait aucun problème et d'ailleurs bien souvent, elles étaient meilleures négociatrices .

Les vieilles habitudes ont la peau dure.

Et quand tu parles du thé, c'est du thé menthe et très douce, oui? En tout cas, c'est ce que les arabes à Paris m'ont servi dans les situations pareilles.

Juste cet après-midi, j'étais chez Wittamer au Sablon pour achter quelques chocolats spéciaux, qui sont fait que chez eux. Ma soeur aux USA les adore. Là, il n'y a que des femmes qui travaillent. Une des vendeuses a parlé une langue à l'autre côté du magasin, et quand elle était plus proche à moi, je lui ai demandé si elle avait parlé en russe. Non, non, elle m'explique, c'étatit du polonnais. Elle a commencé de m'expliquer la différence, comme si j'étais complètement ignorant du sujêt. Tu aurais du voir son expression quand j'ai commencé de lui parler en polonnais. Grand sourire, "comment ça se fait?" etc. etc. J'ai expliqué qu'aux États-Unis, on parlait tous le polonnais (ha ha). Je n'avais pas beaucoup de temps, mais l'épisode m'a gagné une (très bonne!) tasse de café et quelques chocolats gratuits, qui chez Wittamer est tout sauf évident!

Ce n'est pas tout sauf évident, c'est un miracle (de Noël)

C'est tout juste si bonjour et merci n'est pas facturé

Oui c'est du thé à la menthe. Les makrouds, tu sais sûrement ce que c'est : ce sont des petits gâteaux de semoules fourrés aux dattes et trempés dans du miel après cuisson.

J'aimais bien faire un tour au marché de Noël du Sablon quand j'habitais dans le coin.