Couple married 75 years die in each other's arms
Source: USA Today
He must have fallen. He broke his hip," Toczko said. He told KGTV that his father never fully recovered and his health began fading quickly.
Unwilling to keep their parents apart, they had hospice bring Alexander Toczko's bed into the couple's home and place it beside his wife.
On June 17, he passed away."And he died in her arms, which is exactly what he wanted," Toczko-Cushman told KGTV. "I went in there and told my mother he was gone; she hugged him and she said, 'See this is what you wanted. You died in my arms, and I love you. I love you, wait for me, I'll be there soon.' "
Within 24 hours, she passed away, holding her husband's hand.
Read more: http://www.freep.com/story/news/2015/07/03/couple-dies-in-each-others-arms/29662581/
My beloved in-laws died within three days of each other, in 2006. They were married 60 years. Would we all be so fortunate.
merrily
(45,251 posts)read stories like this before. What a gift, to die in each other's arms, or at least come very close to that, after many years together. Indeed, what a gift, just to love and be loved.
yeoman6987
(14,449 posts)Except she held his hand for 24-hours while dead? That seems like a long time to not have the body embalmed and whatever else needs done. A few hours yes, but 24? I guess I am more realistic. Still overall nice story.
Ilsa
(61,698 posts)Cool temps slow down decay, although I would suspect she might notice some rigor developing. Embalming doesn't have to be done immediately.
I'd be more concerned about bladder or bowels emptying and causing odor and health problems right away.
donnasgirl
(656 posts)shenmue
(38,506 posts)47of74
(18,470 posts)restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)there is a lot of sand flying around in my living room
rip to both
donnasgirl
(656 posts)They passed away 1 week apart, and grandpa told us this is what he wanted and he didn't want to go on without her, 66 years they were together.
restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)rip to them. they are together now.💙
Xithras
(16,191 posts)It's been well understood for over a half century that the mortality rate of surviving spouses increases by up to 40% following a death, with a direct correlation between the age of the widow/widower and the death rate. Basically, if you subject a frail elderly person to extreme grief, which activates the brains flight or fight response and raises stress levels and blood pressure, they odds increase that something in their body is going to fail.
My uncle died unexpectedly at 49. My grandmother (his mother) was in good health, but died a week after he did at 74 years old. Same basic concept. The grief literally killed her.
restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)originally identified by Japanese researchers. more commonly known as broken heart syndrome. as the explained by xithras, the stress levels rise to a point where significant cardiac changes can occur, causing an arrhythmia, heart attack, or stroke.
the stress and grief literally kills.
amazing the connection between mind and body
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Takotsubo_cardiomyopathy
dixiegrrrrl
(60,010 posts)Yes....indeed.
We still have not yet come to full acceptance of it either.
restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)when mainstream caregivers fully accept this reality.
Duval
(4,280 posts)therapies/medicine for quite some time. It's time other physicians and health care givers understand.
restorefreedom
(12,655 posts)Samantha
(9,314 posts)If the weakest part is one's heart, he or she dies from a heart attack. If there is an abnormality in the brain, one might die of a stroke. The conscious mind is totally unaware of what is happening.
Sam
packman
(16,296 posts)After 65 yrs. of marriage. When I asked their son about it he replied that his father just stopped taking all the pills (16 per day) and basically said, "That's it".
I suspect that might be the case in many of these occurrences. One spouse is not there to look after the other.
BrotherIvan
(9,126 posts)RIP, Lovers.
Uncle Joe
(58,417 posts)Thanks for the thread, Faygo Kid.
dhill926
(16,355 posts)Beeyoutifull
DashOneBravo
(2,679 posts)What a lucky pair
beemer27
(462 posts)At my grandmother's funeral my grandfather stood at the casket and said that he had nothing to live for. He died that night. They were both in their mid 90s. The mind is more complicated and stronger than we know. Our doctors and scientists are just starting to learn some of the mysteries that the human mind is capable of.
Liberal_in_LA
(44,397 posts)For 24 hours
Sophiegirl
(2,338 posts)Now these are some remarkable people. He is 88 and she is 86. They run circles around us in just about every way. Travel all over the world, garden, engage in social clubs , take their grandkids on vacations, ski, hike (mule-packing in Peru??? seriously???) and that is just the start...and I expect they will hit the century mark before they are done with this life. They are inseparable. And I expect that when one of them finally goes on, the other will join soon after. They have been married over 60 years. I should be so lucky.
Spitfire of ATJ
(32,723 posts)That, "till death do us part" means they can see other people.
Response to Faygo Kid (Original post)
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tularetom
(23,664 posts)My dad had one foot in the grave for ten years, he had a lot of complications from diabetes and suffered from high blood pressure. During the entire time, my mom worked her ass off as his primary caregiver. He was in such bad shape we all assumed he would go first. But as it turned out, she herself was suffering from lung cancer that had metastasized in various parts of her body and didn't tell anybody because she felt he needed her. She refused all treatment except palliative pain relief and died in early 2003.
With her gone, and nobody around to watch what he ate, and how much sleep he got, and whether he took all his meds, he only lasted another four or five months. A lot of people in the family felt that she had sacrificed herself to keep him alive.
The Second Stone
(2,900 posts)atoms and combined and consciousness forced itself on living things, in a living existence of one living thing consuming another. Somewhere out of all of this, and in our understanding that we exist and struggle, we have come to love and accept that our consciousness and love are peaks of reality that end, and we return to being a pile of chemical mixtures that too are scattered. Like notes of a faded symphony we existed, we loved and we are gone, remembered for our interactions by the others that we gathered with and celebrated life with.
Stardust
(3,894 posts)The Second Stone
(2,900 posts)treat each other with love, except I don't believe in any afterlife.
Fortinbras Armstrong
(4,473 posts)Last edited Sat Jul 4, 2015, 01:22 PM - Edit history (1)
My grandfather, then 93, was told by his doctor in April 1977 that he had an inoperable cancer, and that he had about six weeks to live, two months on the outside. My grandfather replied, "That's impossible. I have to give a speech in September." He was the last living founding member of an organization that was going to have its 50th anniversary, and he was to be the featured speaker at a dinner commemorating it.
He lived to give his speech, and died two weeks later.
TexasBushwhacker
(20,214 posts)"nearly perfect" grandchild.
She died 3 months later.
47of74
(18,470 posts)Her funeral was held 68 years to the day later after she and Grandpa got married, and it was even held in the same church. It was really nice that they were back together on their anniversary.
We joked that at least the weather was somewhat more cooperative this time around for laying Grandma to rest next to Grandpa, there was a blizzard on the day they got married.
They were married about 66.5 years when Grandpa passed on July 13, 2013. It'll be two years a week from Monday since he's left us. Just seems like so much has happened since they've both left us.
47of74
(18,470 posts)They were both in their early 50s when my Great-great-grandma died in November 1897. My Great-Great-Grandpa followed her about half a year later in June of 1898. He too was in his early 50s. I remember reading - I believe in his obituary - that he told her not to worry as he would soon be "answering the summons of the almighty" himself and that he would be joining her before too much time had passed. I don't remember if it was before or after her passing though.
Tab
(11,093 posts)They were married at about 25, lived in the same home for 65 years until circumstances forced them into a hospital; she went first, he followed within two weeks, bless them.