Man convicted of NJ webcam gay spying apologizes
Source: AP-Excite
By GEOFF MULVIHILL
TRENTON, N.J. (AP) - A former Rutgers University student openly apologized for the first time on Tuesday for using a webcam to spy on a romantic liaison between a man and a roommate who later killed himself, saying he regrets his "thoughtless, insensitive, immature, stupid and childish choices."
Dharun Ravi, who had been criticized by a judge for not showing remorse and for refusing to say he was sorry, also said he will begin serving a 30-day jail term on Thursday even though he doesn't have to.
Through a lawyer, Ravi issued his most contrite public statement yet in a case that made him a symbol of what his family called an overzealous prosecution and that made his roommate, Tyler Clementi, a prime example of what gay rights advocates said were the consequences of bullying.
"I accept responsibility for and regret my thoughtless, insensitive, immature, stupid and childish choices that I made on Sept. 19, 2010, and Sept. 21, 2010," Ravi said in his statement. "My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, were nonetheless the wrong choices and decisions. I apologize to everyone affected by those choices."
FULL story at link.
Read more: http://apnews.excite.com/article/20120529/D9V2LP3O2.html
dballance
(5,756 posts)He gets a 30-day sentence. His room mate Tyler got a life sentence.
He's only contrite to the extent it will get him a lighter sentence.
Want to hold someone else down and cut their hair now Mitt?
cosmicone
(11,014 posts)He couldn't possibly have anticipated that the heinous prank as it was would drive the roommate to kill himself.
His intent was to just embarrass and he got the sentence he deserved for a prank.
It is not something I would have done but many, at that age, in that environment of college pranks, would have.
TheRazorOnline
(4 posts)dballance
(5,756 posts)In this day and age to say that that one is ignorant that embarrassment, harassment and ridiculing someone might lead them to suicide is just ridiculous. I won't limit my thoughts just LGBT abuse. There are people of all sorts who kill themselves because they are abused by others.
No he did not directly kill his room mate but he sure as shit metaphorically helped his room mate tie the knots on the rope or open the tops on the drug bottles.
cosmicone
(11,014 posts)Many many people are embarrassed, harassed and humiliated -- a very tiny fraction of them kill themselves.
Anticipated result and intent are crucial and neither is present in this case.
marble falls
(57,097 posts)his room mate to suicide. And suicide definitely was one of the predictable alternative conclusions. Bullying incidents that end in suicide are in the papers often.
from: http://www.bullyingstatistics.org/content/bullying-and-suicide.html
The statistics on bullying and suicide are alarming:
Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people, resulting in about 4,400 deaths per year, according to the CDC. For every suicide among young people, there are at least 100 suicide attempts. Over 14 percent of high school students have considered suicide, and almost 7 percent have attempted it.
Bully victims are between 2 to 9 times more likely to consider suicide than non-victims, according to studies by Yale University
A study in Britain found that at least half of suicides among young people are related to bullying
10 to 14 year old girls may be at even higher risk for suicide, according to the study above
According to statistics reported by ABC News, nearly 30 percent of students are either bullies or victims of bullying, and 160,000 kids stay home from school every day because of fear of bullying
pacalo
(24,721 posts)What he did can't be excused as a "prank" -- he wasn't happy that he shared a room with someone who was gay.
I watched a lot of the trial & I couldn't find any sign that he felt any remorse whatsoever. His body language seemed to convey that he felt inconvenienced by & bored with the court proceedings. He yawned repeatedly & he couldn't seem to keep his eyes open.
His public statement, which had to have been written for him by someone else, is a load of bull:
"My behavior and actions, which at no time were motivated by hate, bigotry, prejudice or desire to hurt, humiliate or embarrass anyone, were nonetheless the wrong choices and decisions. I apologize to everyone affected by those choices."
His actions toward his roommate were most definitely motivated by hate, bigotry, & prejudice; & he meant to hurt, humiliate, & embarrass his victim.
cosmicone
(11,014 posts)I also agree that he harbors no remorse.
Nevertheless, the fact remains that he couldn't have anticipated what happened and it was not his intent to cause a death.
pacalo
(24,721 posts)He could use some time away from his family, behind bars, to think about what he's done. One mother's son is dead & the parents whose son made his target's life seem too unbearable to live have the attitude that the prosecution was overzealous.
He volunteered to go to jail only because: "It's the only way I can go on with my life," he said in the statement.
That seems to reflect his body language I saw during the trial. It's the inconvenience to his life with which he's most concerned. Only then did he give an apology -- most assuredly, one written by his attorney.
/typo
cosmicone
(11,014 posts)Someone may commit suicide because they were called names. That doesn't make it an intentional act to cause suicide.
It is not like drunk driving where a defendant knows that there is a "reasonable likelihood" or causing death or injury. No such reasonable likelihood exists for a prank.
Holding this person guilty for something that was an unanticipated rare occurrence and which was unintentional would be a miscarriage of justice.
If you toppled over some guy's garbage can or teepee'd his house as a prank and the guy commits suicide over it, should you be held guilty of murder?
The fact that the victim was embarrassed to the point of suicide shows that he was not proud of who he was and felt shame for being gay. If he had been proud like some of my gay friends, he would have laughed the whole thing off as a prank. Who made this kid so ashamed? Parents? Society? Religion? Why not blame them?
pacalo
(24,721 posts)How could you not understand that there would, in fact, be a "reasonable likelihood" that the student would be devastated enough to end his life's pain after having his taped sexual encounter broadcasted to his schoolmates? Have you been paying attention to the news in regard to so many suicides due to bullying & harassment? It's become an epidemic.
They are not "ashamed" because of who they are; they are terrified at the repercussions of intolerance that surround them daily. One has to have empathy to understand what must have been going through this student's mind when he decided to end his life. He knew his life was going to be made miserable after his schoolmates saw the video because he knew too well what to expect. Anyone, heterosexual or gay, would be ashamed of having their intimate moments broadcasted, but for that to happen to a gay person living among intolerance, suicide can have more to do with self-preservation.
Your way of thinking is seems to be more attuned to the student tormentor rather than to the victim. Ask your gay friends if they thought this case was funny; I doubt that they did.
I'm done.
shcrane71
(1,721 posts)It was a callous/low thing to do, and I don't believe for a second that it wasn't motivated by his Tyler's sexual orientation. Would he have set up a webcam if his roommate was with a woman? Would other students have watched from another room? It's possible, but it's also more likely that someone would have said how fucked up that was.
I would posit that the majority of heterosexual youths put in a similar situation as this asshole put Clementi in would also become suicidal.
peacebird
(14,195 posts)Sounds like a pretty selfserving statement, not a true apology.
ProudToBeBlueInRhody
(16,399 posts)What a shame for this weasel.
Thankfully, he'll be deported and be someone else's problem.
shcrane71
(1,721 posts)thus, avoiding jail time that his guilty plea would have given. He gambled that he would win a "not guilty" plea, and not be deported. Hopefully he'll never set foot on US soil again.
wendylaroux
(2,925 posts)he actually does feel remorse and feels horrible guilt about it for the rest of his life. I kind of doubt he will though,since he did it in the first place.