CDC to America: There Is No Zombie Apocalypse
Source: Time
Despite a string of grisly incidents throughout North America, the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention declared late last week that there is no evidence of a coming Zombie Apocalypse.
The CDC, based in the Atlanta area, has previously issued promotional materials on how to survive a zombie attack, but these were all “a tongue in cheek campaign to engage new audiences with preparedness messages,” according to a new post on the agency’s website. Following a series of ghastly incidents in Canada, Florida, New Jersey, Washington and Maryland, the organization was actually forced to address (mostly online) concerns about back-from-the-dead monsters feasting on the flesh of the living.
“CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),” agency spokesperson David Daigle told The Huffington Post on Friday.
Zombie talk began May 26 in Florida after 31-year-old Miami resident Rudy Eugene stripped off all his clothes, attacked a homeless man and attempted to chew off his face. Eugene, naked and growling, only ceased his attack after police shot him several times, according to eyewitnesses.
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Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2012/06/04/cdc-to-america-there-is-no-zombie-apocalypse/
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And devour all the Eloi.
I believe each of these two groups fall into the two dominant political parties.
Republicans are Morlocks, with their vampire capitalists, and ready to drag off their kill and gnaw the bones.
The Democrats are Eloi, hoping for love and peace and not quite sure what those gruesome noises are.
That's not a perfect analogy, but I still think we need to watch out.
Maybe I better quit the SciFi.
Not pulling away from Paranoid Plaza while there's a chance of the dreaded Mittbot2012 moving into the White House. He drinks the blood of people, I tell ya!
if there's no Zombie Apocalypse, then I may have to go to plan B, a Pirate Invasion.
I suspect somebody there is in deep doodoo for the original "tongue in cheek" campaign.
Nevertheless, to even see the issue addressed as a for-real issue just gets me going.
Alice on our side.....
