On April 9th of 1971, much to the dismay of one James Arkell, the brief story quoted above was published in Private Eye, a British satirical news publication founded in 1961 which, thanks to its unflinching commitment to uncovering scandals, is no stranger to legal disputes. Indeed, a few weeks after this particular piece hit the shelves, a letter arrived from Arkell's solicitors which can be read below, as can an uncompromising reply from Private Eye which has since become famous in legal and publishing circles for reasons which will become clear.

Never ones to miss an opportunity, Private Eye published the exchange very quickly, and almost immediately Arkell withdrew his complaint. The magazine have since used the dispute as shorthand when responding to threats, e.g. "We refer you to the reply given in the case of Arkell v. Pressdram."
...

29th April 1971

Dear Sir,

We act for Mr Arkell who is Retail Credit Manager of Granada TV Rental Ltd. His attention has been drawn to an article appearing in the issue of Private Eye dated 9th April 1971 on page 4. The statements made about Mr Arkell are entirely untrue and clearly highly defamatory. We are therefore instructed to require from you immediately your proposals for dealing with the matter.

Mr Arkell's first concern is that there should be a full retraction at the earliest possible date in Private Eye and he will also want his costs paid. His attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of your reply.

Yours,
(Signed)
Goodman Derrick & Co.
---
Dear Sirs,

We acknowledge your letter of 29th April referring to Mr. J. Arkell.

We note that Mr Arkell's attitude to damages will be governed by the nature of our reply and would therefore be grateful if you would inform us what his attitude to damages would be, were he to learn that the nature of our reply is as follows: fuck off.

Yours,
Private Eye

http://www.lettersofnote.com/2013/08/arkell-v-pressdram.html

AL.com: We will not be silenced or slowed by Roy Moore's threat

Alabama Senate candidate Roy Moore has threatened to file a lawsuit against AL.com based on its reporting about him. He claims the media organization has falsely reported information and has attempted to orchestrate a "trial by media" and has been playing to a "mob mentality."

Alabama Media Group, the publisher of AL.com, said Wednesday it stands by its reporting.
...
Michelle Holmes, Vice President of Content for Alabama Media Group, responded Wednesday to the letter. "Roy Moore seeks election to the United States Senate. As such a public figure, he merits and can expect intense scrutiny by the electorate and the media on its behalf, including by Alabama Media Group, the state's largest media outlet."

"We stand behind our past reporting on Roy Moore, and vow to continue to doggedly pursue the truth on behalf of the people of Alabama. These threats will not silence us, and they will not slow us."

http://www.al.com/news/index.ssf/2017/11/alcom_we_will_not_be_silenced.html

AL.com: We will not be silenced or slowed by Roy Moore's threat

Updated 1:20 PM; Posted 12:47 AM

....
Michelle Holmes, Vice President of Content for Alabama Media Group, responded Wednesday to the letter. "Roy Moore seeks election to the United States Senate. As such a public figure, he merits and can expect intense scrutiny by the electorate and the media on its behalf, including by Alabama Media Group, the state's largest media outlet."

"We stand behind our past reporting on Roy Moore, and vow to continue to doggedly pursue the truth on behalf of the people of Alabama. These threats will not silence us, and they will not slow us."

Letter by KentFaulk on Scribd

POLITICS, SMALL LAW FIRMS

Roy Moore’s Lawyer Pens Demand Letter As Embarrassing As His Client

Words can't describe how terrible this letter is.

By JOE PATRICE
at 11:58 AM

It’s hard to believe that the former Chief Justice of Alabama doesn’t know a good lawyer. While he’s been kicked off that court — twice — one would have thought the Alabama legal community wasn’t so uniformly opposed to Moore that he couldn’t find a firm prepared to write a sober, respectable letter on his behalf. Alas, Moore’s turned to Trent Garmon instead and Garmon’s given us all such a gift by vomiting up an incoherent, error-filled, and typo laden demand letter.

And the fact that Roy Moore doubtless had to pay hundreds of dollars for this tripe makes it all worthwhile.

Please allow this to serve as notice that our firm has been retained to represent The Foundation for Moral Law, it’s President Kayla Moore and Chief Justice Roy Moore.

Didn’t even make it a sentence. Garmon could not make it a whole sentence without a basic grammatical f**k up. Obviously mistakes happen and over the course of a lengthy document, things will be missed in editing. But the first sentence. Come on, man.

Your client’s organization has made and/or supported defaming statements. This is due to the careless and/or intentionally refused to advance the truth regarding our clients. We also believe that your client, by and through its agents, have damaged our clients by being careless in how they handle headlines and report the contextual of the allegations.

I know 14-year-olds who write better. Sadly, Roy Moore might too.
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Do yourself a favor and read the whole letter. I originally started this post by redlining the letter, but after a couple of paragraphs it was clear that simple line editing couldn’t save this trainwreck.
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As I’m writing this Garmon’s just shown up on cable news trying to explain his client’s case and in a two minute span managed to be racist, caught in a lie, and drop an unnecessary football reference and we’re just going to have to do a follow-up on that so stay tuned. {UPDATE: Here’s our coverage of these cringe-worthy Garmon TV appearances.}
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Joe Patrice is an editor at Above the Law and co-host of Thinking Like A Lawyer. Feel free to email any tips, questions, or comments. Follow him on Twitter if you’re interested in law, politics, and a healthy dose of college sports news.