They're terrible drivers.

Clearly a plot to create some sort of evil genius pit bull.

"I hope the dog's okay." Am I going to hell?

It's the doggie drivers that aren't on a leash that you have to worry about.

and don't get me started on cats under the influence of catnip...

The cat did it.

But there wasn't a dog involved...

they always change the radio station and mess with my levels.

My ninja dog Hank used to jump into the driver's seat & lean on the horn if I parked the car to run an errand & left him inside. Funny as hell to see people looking at him/the car with the horn blaring like "C'mon mom, you're taking too much time!!"

I learned not to leave an automatic running with him on board. My stickshift, on the other hand, can idle with the Emergency Brake on & all he'd do is snub it if he moved the shifter.

of my old Toyota pickup if I parked it with him inside. One time I came out of the store & he was sitting there, drooling out the open driver's side window. He had attracted a few people who were standing around looking at him, so I walked up to the window and said, "No, I'm not letting you drive any more. Remember what happened last time when that rabbit ran across the road?" Then I pushed him over onto the passengers side and drove off, leaving the people behind me laughing.

For the safety of our Children.

Dogs with cars kill people.

No, really, she's been riding with me since 2007, in a milk crate on the back of the bike, a lot like this dude's setup:



When her primary caretakers were away, I'd putter 35 miles to pick her up and bring her to my home in another county. I'd like to think she enjoys it, though necessity played a large role--the dog could not go hiking with me without riding first.

It didn't take her very long to learn not to lean into turns or shift position on windy stretches of road, and a week of classical conditioning (strapping her in with bungees and pushing her around a college campus past squirrels, her favorite prey) before we started taught her not to jump out and go after every critter she sees along the way.

I swear I've caught her posing for pictures as amused drivers pass. She even gets through most rain squalls without getting wet, because I started her out on a wave runner and she's quite good at staying in my lee. Never an incident in well over a thousand miles of putt-putting, though we don't do it very much now that we're all older and a little more broken down.

She hasn't learned counter-steering, though, so I don't let her ride alone.

He shifted out of drive.

It was very scary, but after I got off the road and figured out what happened I burst out laughing, because after he did it and the car lurched and groaned, he leaped back up onto the seat and was staring around desperately trying to look innocent.

I'm pretty sure he was deliberately trying to make the car go faster at the time. I was driving at a low speed through a town. He had always been fascinated by the mower, and he knew you had to move the lever to make the mower go.

Dogs are smarter than most think.

He was a pound dog who was going to be put down for being vicious, which is how I ended up with him. The sweetest dog I ever had, and anything but vicious, but did have a yen to figure out how things worked.