They deserve one another.

More indication that he does not expect to be charged. His life goes on. They will probably move to another police department once this blows over.

hard to hold my tongue.

Is she close to retirement age? They may have to live on that....!

It's not like he's a teenager and she's in her late twenties. Women don't "break down" at 35 or 40 as is commonly believed... I do have to defend DW here. (It's more defending of women though, I think.)

quite remarkable and, dare I say, prejudicial. It has nothing to do with physical aging, it has to do with shared generational experience.

The only thing they have in common is policing--and that path is going to diverge tout suite, I suspect.

Frankly, I think SHE sold herself short.

after twenty years?

I know a lot of people who were thirty eight years old when they retired. It's a nice check to have coming in every month.

DUR....to you too, I suppose, if I wanted to be snarky....

And not the man's?

He's too young for her, she's too old for him. Aside from policing--and he won't be doing that much longer--what do they have in common?

Funny that your first impression is that there was "joking" going on....?

I'm 40. I like this relationship.

She's getting a guy on the cusp of man-o-pause. It's all downhill from here. Not a slam, mind--just biology.

When she's forty she might not look back on these days with the same verve you're doing now.

You can give us an update in 17 years!

And because you said it was hard to hold your tongue, I assumed that your sentence immediately following that was you letting one of them loose. Namely, that she was so old she must be close to retiring.

It was a fair reading. If you had written straightforwardly, as you just did above, I wouldn't have queried it at all.

But interesting that you saw it that I was somehow playing the "ageist" game at my advanced age.

She IS old enough to be close to retiring. That's not a slam, that's a fact. And it's not a strange, rare fact--many many people are aware of this.

See, this is "the problem" with trying to have a conversation on DU. Instead of asking, people automatically take offense and ASSUME.

It's demotivating.

Maybe you should be motivated to say clearly what you're thinking in the first place, instead of expecting people to know what you really meant. I wasn't taking offense. I was querying you on what you said. Good grief, you're making a mountain out of a molehill.

coming at me? You're making a mountain out of a molehill, yourself, I'd say. My VERY first post talked about the two of them having to live on her pension, which was pretty clear, I thought.

Last I checked, I'm some one!

I met her when I was 18.

I realize I said ex but age wasn't much of an issue, especially in my case when my peers would advise me towards someone my own age because my ex-wife had "too many miles".

I'd say the biggest thing my age had a difference was perspective, I felt most of the time that I could do better.. now I realize I can't even come close. My last 2 very brief but (fake) my relationships were with someone younger by a year and the second one by a month -- used & abused though the former I recognized a week into it something wasn't right. The second relationship which was 2 years after the other was a period where I was grossly mistreated by several people that mentally I wasn't ready for what was about to occur and was just a little too late getting out.

I once briefly met someone who I started talking to who was 19 while I was 27, she may have lacked in maturity but in the ways that counted. I could tell she was interested in me for me rather than what I could do for and we both shared the same sense in what is right, wrong, or fair when it comes to treating people. Problem is I lost my phone during a middle-of-the-night airport run and she lives out in Laveen while I stay in Mesa.

and genetics), it's shared life experiences. Ten years apart there aren't as many of those. And since DW is off the force, the one thing they have in common, policing, is now ancient history. That's why it's best if she was an early hire--she can collect her pension and they can live off that while they both find new work. I'm sure some compound in Idaho might need security guards or something.

Not saying these relationships can't work, but it often proves difficult. At some point, there's resentment--particularly if, way too late in the relationship, the man decides he wants children, or, if the male is older, the woman decides she wants to kick up her heels and she's tired of being a nurse (Larry King's previous wives, e.g., by and large).

If there has to be an age difference, it's better for the woman to be older if the couple wants to shuffle off this mortal coil around the same time--they live longer.

A lot of the same shows we grew up watching were the same, the biggest exception is Nickelodeon in the late 90's.

My ex-wife already had 4 kids by the time I meant her which wasn't an issue for me (that might scare off a lot of other 18-year-olds). I didn't get too involved in parenting them or trying to mold them. I only "corrected" them when they started misbehaving, acting up, or doing something dangerous. However, I was able to do a better(I couldn't think of a neutral word to describe what I mean) job at helping her daughter with her school work (I can come up with creative ways to explain myself in ways that make sense, I can find common ground with people off the deep right wing deep in though most of the time those people don't know why they're Republican--they just buy into the common misinformation about Democrats--they really need to get better in the marketing department). My ex-wife would just lose patience and was limited in to what she can do to help without giving away the answer. One way, I noticed in elementary schools. A lot of question & answer worksheets had patterns to them(especially in math), once you figured out the pattern--the answers were given away. She questioned my methods in teaching her the pattern but it was one way I made it through elementary school--I also was the "Outstanding Math Student" for the 5th grade.

One thing I wasn't prepared for is the importance of being able to provide everything for those kids, she had more work experience so she was able to get a job the next day after being fired(she could leave it off her resume) while later I missed work because emotionally, the problems in the relationship effected my desire to go to work anyways and block out the problems and do my job. So when I missed one too many, it was difficult to find a job (but a hell of a lot easier than it is these days). Took me awhile, what limited experience I had was hard to explain on the "reason for leaving" and I've always been horrible at interviews. Finally got into landscaping & construction but the jobs were always temporary.

One day at a bus stop I was on my way to apply to a job when an Army recruiter came up to me and asked "What job do you know trains for over 100 career fields for free?" and I was hooked. You have to understand something, joining the military was the last thing I ever thought I'd do and was 100% against the Iraq war before the Iraq war. I used to get into arguments on Yahoo CSCO board & college basketball message boards (March Madness 2003 took place during the beginning of the war) with people slamming for being a cowardly liberal and all sorts of things, including "support our troops" ad nauseam. The reason why I did was because of my commitment and my strong desire to have a decent paying job so she isn't completely underwater all-the-time when it comes to the expenses kids & monthly rent comes with.

When drill sergeant in basic training asked each of us why we joined my honest answer would have been "so my girlfriend wouldn't leave me" so I went with school or something.

I slipped into a depression after the war & started becoming self-destructive. I don't want to get into it but we became married not long after I returned and I consider myself the world's greatest boyfriend but I wasn't a very good husband. I wasn't an abuser or cheater, just depressed.

There were certainly differences that affected the relationship, clearly there was but while there are parts of me that will never take things seriously, I was more serious & mature than most others my age--she used to say that I was like a grandpa in that I wasn't living a wild & crazy 18-year-old life (she went to clubs regularily while I didn't but that had more to do with the drinking ages).

I get what you're saying but personalities matter and to those where they matter less, age is more important but when it is the most important--the ages don't. A personality from a SO that fits you is rare so while similar life experiences better the odds. I was an agnostic/atheist while she was a Christian (not a churchgoer) which was an initial problem for her, it was something that was never an issue afterwards. People find differences like that impossible for a relationship but it was much less an issue than age. It helps that I don't have an expectation for people to think like me.

The miles part was in the sexual context. I would repeat what he said but it had something to do with sexual organs younger compared to older and mileage was used as an analogy. My point of mentioning that was to explain I was more mature that others my age because the thought of choosing partners based on "mileage" never crossed my mind.

Are you getting the help you need? VA scandals notwithstanding, there are facilities where you can talk to people who share your issues and make some real progress. Don't let that stuff go if it's still a problem. Life is too short to live with the black dog.

VA also subsidizes my housing so they have been great. They also discovered my hypoglycemia (thanks to physicals I don't have to pay for) which helped give me an answer as to what is wrong with me--especially when it comes to anxiety, nervousness, and confusion.

My only complaint is the long waiting game for prescriptions. Shortly before the scandal broke there was someone passing out cards giving a Facebook address to complain about the VA which baffled me at the time. Guy sitting next to me says, "What do you think?" Told him "best care I ever had" to where he said "We get damn good care."

I don't deny the reality, the length between appointments or the wait time to be assigned a primary care doctor were never a big secret. "Dying while waiting for care" does that mean they died because the appointment wasn't sooner or did they die because they died? I was advised months before that I probably should go to the Southeast clinic since they don't have the sort of traffic the Phoenix VA--one hospital in the heart of Phoenix handling patients from all over the state. I understand there were some secret wait lists to cover up the waiting times -- I don't know who they were hiding it from since it wasn't the best kept secret.

In all honesty, it pales in comparison to the BS I was put through in a Desert Banner hospital where I received better care from the janitor and that isn't a joke or a lie. A hell of a lot more than a waiting period was covered up, I got some good information (which was difficult for something other than medical malpractice against a doctor--I didn't see any doctors while all this was going on except for one to tell me a flat out lie) on what to do but I don't know their names or a name of someone who could be a favorable witness. I went to get all the paperwork, after the initial few pages I went back where he told me nurses notes, everything cost money which I knew before hand and was well prepared to do pay. Basically he seemed like he didn't want to or thinking he was doing me a behavior since he assumed I wanted it for continuing care (I didn't tell him why I wanted it) waved me away when he was on the phone which I did but I wanted to see him do something with the sheet I filled out. I never got anything at all in the mail but I gave up on it, I have been able to block out the memories & found comfort in truth which doesn't change whether anyone knows the truth or not. It is like 2+2=4, truth is always 4. Also the people that were there know the truth.

VA scandal is one of the rare things that still trigger a memory for two reasons. A hospital scandal which unless the VA tortures a patient & almost kills one (or comes close) with unnecessary brutality which for some reason the strange behavior from the staff took place after the most f'd up thing I ever went through. I hate talking about it since it raises my blood pressure which shouldn't effect my judgments of whatever scandal the VA is involved in though I think it is a funding issue as one main hospital in the 7th largest US city with a Southeast clinic serves Veterans all over the state. They also pay out travel pay to everyone that walks-in or appointments and travel pay fraud isn't a well-kept secret like the wait. I remember they sent me refill prescriptions I didn't request shortly after changing my address which is further away than the previous one (pay per mile).

As far as counseling, it has never been something that was helpful. How do you "get into it" and how do you pinpoint and talk about something to help to solve whats bothering me when it could be everything, talking about my issues seems to backfire as an answer. I understand the things go on around me better than the people who aren't around the things that go on around me though I may be horrible in articulating that understanding which leads to the unhelpful feedback. One person was good but he wasn't a therapist, he was a doctor in the mental health field but not a therapist if that makes sense.

Good call on the black dog but I'm content with it. Socializing often leads into problems I didn't bargain for but if I'm not around anybody, I don't run into problems. I don't mean things where I'm wrong or did something that was wrong to another person. I mean people who get upset over their assumptions of things, lies that can really screw up someone's life, and innocent mistakes that led to something big. Sometimes things out of your control lead to some screwed up situations which can be controlled by not being there in the first place.

I have a few friends who were more than fair to me & go above and beyond anyone else these days. I value people that do that because I don't ask for it but was done for me anyways, I always want to avoid potential conflicts from assumptions or misunderstandings so I try to stay away. Normally, I don't care what other people think, I really don't. But, they have been good friends that I've had for awhile now and have managed to kept it that way. Not once did they try take advantage of me which isn't possible anymore since I only do things because I want to do them (with the expectation nobody has to kiss my ass in return) but the fact they didn't try.

Though the black dog leads to boredom which leads to posting too much.

They need to smooth it out and make it very, very good for everyone. Jettison the dead weight, the cheaters, and the skimmers on staff and pay good people well to do a fair day's work. They also need to individualize therapy a bit more in some locations, perhaps. I know some folks who have been helped a lot by combo therapies that include individual-group-medication protocols.

Don't overlook exercise, either, it does a lot of good, both physically and in terms of mood (I need to take my own advice on that score!!). Take good care of yourself, particularly over the holidays. A bit of introversion or even situational anhedonia may seem like an OK state, but there's more to life than just protecting your flank all the time, too...I'm trying to have more fun these days,myself, and get out of the all work/no play routines--life is short and fun is in short enough supply day-to-day, so I have resolved to go looking for it every so often!

I don't do it or know others that do but there are posters advising you not to fraud the military for travel pay. I do see how easily it can be done, I just need an address where I receive stuff from the VA from and keep it from the type of thing that creates red flags (claiming hundreds of separating miles but regular visits). I was saying in addition to lack of funding and the number of patients one hospital deals with on a daily basis, they also pay out travel pay with the funding they do have (what private insurance hospitals do that?) which people collect that do not need it to make it back home, (I took the money myself because it is there and there is nothing illegal or against the rules for doing so) which leads to probably more patients with the "I'll go down to the VA to collect some travel pay I could use" which $14 isn't enough for me to make it worth the trip for the sole purpose. This is also in addition to the fraud which appears to be one of the easiest scams there is.

I think it needs more funding, more hospitals, more clinics, more staff though why were they covering up the stats and who they were covering up for? Likely the same people the fudge the stats are always the same people they are falling on the sword. Usually there is pressure from somewhere that would lead to it in the first place, especially to cover up something that isn't a secret. Reminds me of the VA doctor that was fired after giving testimony to a legislative body claiming the over-prescription of Opiates. Who wants to stop it from getting better?

I'll say a good thing about this scandal is it means more funding which will already help a personally satisfactory health care (far better than the Desert Banner System. I give high recommendations for Scottsdale Health Care, nice facilities, comfortable surroundings, warm & caring staff. Community hospital who will cover the costs of your stay provided you come up with the necessary paperwork which is more than a few pages but not an unreasonable high number with impossible requirements`.

I agree with you that they need more assets--maybe they could find a way to shift some acdu assets to VA in an ebb-and-flow fashion. I realize there's a firewall between the two, but the truth of the matter is that military medical manpower is kept at a much higher level than end strength requirements necessitate in a peacetime environment, and the reason for that is to maintain quick surge capability. Perhaps finding a way to integrate some of those people into the VA process, either for "surge" needs of the VA or as a regular rotation (might be good for acdu docs to see what happens down the line) might not be a bad idea and could be an efficient use of assets.

Most patrol officers I know retire around 40/45 as they start breaking down physically. The ones that hang on are usually desk jockeys, investigators, or sergants/officers. He's come into a lot of money, but his options for a future have become limited due to his poor judgement, even though he's probably going to parlay his minor fringe celebrity status into some sort of income stream, because there's always angry, aggressive racist jerks that are looking for a messiah to lead them into battle against FEMA and Homeland Security during the ever-threatening armeggedon/dystopia fantasy that fills their empty hours.
The upside for her is that: 1) he's still in the plyable stage of maturity (if he ever grows out of it) and will probably defer to her knowledge and experiance; 2) he's a minor celebrity in the fringe circles that make up much of the culture of the modern militarized US policing and currently has at least a million dollars on hand that they can spend on joint assets that a civil trial can't force them to pay back to the family of the victim of his ; and 3) he's young, tall, virile, and "cute" in a white supremisist sort of way, if that's her cultural bias.

With similar experiance and probable cultural background (I assume they both come from a similar family dynamic and geographic location growing up), the age difference is not extreme.

For example, I'm 8 years older than Laz, but we are both ex-military - well, if you consider the Air Force experiance similar to the Navy experiance - and have similar tastes and interests, raised by parents of the similar educational background and values - even if we didn't have the same generational experiance or even personal experiances - he was married previously and I barely dated until I met him.

Now, when it comes to snark; hey, they both know which side their bread can be buttered on. I doubt this is love...

Haele

And if they married in a community property state and they divorce...she gets HALF. I think she's the brains of the equation--at least she's managed to get past four decades of life and has never pumped a load of bullets into an unarmed teenager (that we know of, anyway).

Who knows, maybe she's playing the guy...or maybe she finds something to like. Can't imagine what but there's no accounting for taste, I guess.

If he's smart, he'll do the Modern Family thang and take HER name. Right now he's like John Wilkes Booth in 1865--not a good name to have.

Zero conscience. Sociopath.

..from an old geezer who appreciates quality.

He's either going to be free from indictment or planning a move out of the country or in hiding somewhere. She will be free to monitor his bank accounts.
The timing of the marriage is suspect & leans to more reasons than love.

He has been given time & Legal advice as to how best to make an easy & quick exit, if he hasn't already done so.

Melissa Harris Perry's show on Friday stated the feds & Police would be given 48 hr notice before the GJury decision was made public.

Stinks

against their husband or wife. Just throwing that out there, in case there's an indictment. He'd be protected against what might have been discussed during any conversations they had. Makes me go 'Hmmm."

I can only imagine the incriminating conversations they may have had in those first few days.

to get the best case scenario out of this disaster he created.
He's probably been shuffled off to an undisclosed location for his retirement.
Wilson may just be relaxing on a beach in the Caribbean, as we speak.

Ferguson can clean up his mess.

I hope everyone who is hurting because of this has the sense to register & vote come the next election, where they can rid their city of this nightmare. It can only stop with the voters of Ferguson, Mo.
The beginning with which they all can move forward to a better run city government, in Michael Brown's honor.

What if after the shooting he confided in this lady cop and then realized that if she was deposed she could be a problem for him. So the best thing that he could do is marry her and then as a spouse she cannont be compelled to testify against him. Just a thought.

That would mean that anything he told her before they were married would be admissible as testimony.

I could be wrong about that. Maybe it depends on the state or county.

One, like you mentioned, protects spousal communications during the marriage. The privilege continues to exist even after the marriage ends.

But there is a second one, that a person can refuse to testify against their spouse. If she chooses to testify, he cannot stop her, but if she refuses to testify, no one can force her.

Thanks for clearing that up.

and you're into anything dirty...remember they cannot be COMPELLED to testify against you, but if they want to.....

Not a lawyer.

Just a guess...

just broke today

about this executioners future. He's got a job or life wherever he goes in amerikkka.

And it could speak to possible legal reasons, as detailed in a couple of posts above you. This isn't about who he loves or looking down on married people.

your entire post is nonsense. if they are white cops

once again. Good job

get married and get on with his life.

But congratulations, I guess.

Huge financial windfall, celebrity, marries a soulmate, and almost certainly won't ever see the inside of a jail cell...

Between the huge amounts of money Wilson and Zimmerman have raked in, I don't know why even more of us aren't gunned down on a regular basis...

Having to testify against him.

That would be pretty cynical of him....

she would have nothing to testify to. Anything Wilson said would be hearsay

what really happened. Usually third-person hearsay is the problem while generally I could testify that you told me you robbed a bank while MADem told me you robbed a bank wouldn't be allowed as testimony. Jailhouse informants is an example of this.

That said, I find it highly unlikely they became married for this reason given that it would be unlikely a prosecutor would look there for that type of information.

What do you bet they signed their marriage license then, immediately, signed documents turning over all his property, money, and other assets to her to protect his assets from a suit by Michael Brown's family?

be doing Dancing with the Stars ?

makes sense it's another cop.

I guess in your mind all cops are bad.

But with your comments above, it doesn't take much to figure it out.

So no problem.

Nothing 2 C here,
move on.

What a farkin douchebag.

Now how about they both find a different line of work with less killing.

before he's charged with spousal abuse?

Brown's life, will not.

'nuff said.