Ostrich: Well-spoken, intelligent Alabama woman ruining state's image

By Matt Mitchell, The Ostrich
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on November 17, 2017 at 11:30 AM, updated November 17, 2017 at 11:41 AM

Matt Mitchell is the creator of The Ostrich, Walker County's least trusted news source, and was the 3rd round draft pick of the Denver Nuggets. This is a work of satire.

A well-spoken, intelligent woman who claimed to be from Alabama was seen ruining the state's reputation earlier today.

According to eyewitnesses, the woman brazenly told complete strangers that she hailed from Alabama, a state that has seen its already tarnished image be further marred by outrageous government scandals this year.

"We didn't believe her at first. She seemed so normal," recalled Dave Collins, a resident of Massachusetts, where the Alabama woman has been seen walking upright on two legs like an evolved human being. "If it weren't for the accent, you'd think she's just like the rest of us up here."

Sources say the unknown Alabamian spoke to numerous people throughout the day, and that at no point did she launch into an offensive diatribe against any particular person or group. Her compassion for others and ability to think objectively was a sharp contrast from the image of Alabama constantly portrayed in the national media.

"It really made me wonder if there are others like her down there," added Collins. "I almost get the feeling that Alabama is full of people like this, but a couple of loud-mouth idiots seem to ruin it for everyone."
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a little more: http://www.al.com/opinion/index.ssf/2017/11/ostrich_well-spoken_intelligen.html#incart_river_index




That last para describes the frustrations of blue 'Bamans pretty well.