Having solved all the world's problems, we can now spend billions on space guns that go pew pew.

Sorry, Earth. Space beckons.

There comes a day in the life of every sufficiently wealthy man or nation when you simply run out of things to do on the planet. And I regret to say that that day has come for the United States.

We have run out of things to throw money at on earth.

Look there are only so many decorative napkin holders with your initials on them that you can possibly get before you are decorative-napkin-holdered out. You can only commission so many large oil paintings of yourself in a red hunting jacket staring wistfully at your pack of hounds, and you can only buy Scott Pruitt so many first-class seats and personalized telephone booths before you start to feel empty and bored.

And then what can you do? You cannot build yourself an enormous armored suit and go around fighting crime. (Well, you can, but it is frowned upon.) You can build an ill-received rescue submarine and then leave it in a cave, after calling the actual rescuer a pedophile, but … Elon Musk already did it, and there is no reason to wish to do it again.

So there is nothing else for it. You must go to space. All billionaires agree: This is the only thing that remains. Earth is over. Forget it, Earth! If there was anything to do here, the Mayans already did it centuries ago. Now Space calls you, ineluctably, like the West at the end of “The Lord of the Rings,” and you must put yourself and all your possessions into a boat full of elves in shining robes and cast off.

To those who respond with consternation to the news of the Space Force (unfunded, still in the gestational stage, the only stage of life Mike Pence is excited about), I say: How can you look around this country right now and not think that our first priority should be the creation of a sixth branch of the armed forces to deal with space?

To those who say that in Flint some people still cannot drink tap water, I say I am pretty sure there is water on Mars. In the interim, let them drink La Croix.

https://www.heraldnet.com/opinion/petri-we-need-a-space-force-at-which-to-throw-our-money/?utm_source=DAILY+HERALD&utm_campaign=9dab459bb0-RSS_EMAIL_CAMPAIGN&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_d81d073bb4-9dab459bb0-228635337