Does God hate Republicans? Secretary of State Johnson’s citizenship quiz and other GOP baloney

Jack Lessenberry at his best. Enjoy!


Does God hate Republicans?
Secretary of State Johnson’s citizenship quiz and other GOP baloney
By Jack Lessenberry
PUBLISHED: AUGUST 15, 2012


There is, in fact, some new evidence that this may be so, based entirely on hard data and their own testimony. Just before the primary election last week, I watched all three contenders for the GOP U.S. Senate nomination on the PBS show Off the Record.

Nothing really surprises me anymore, but to my mild astonishment, they all said that God, indeed, wanted them to run. Randy Hekman, a forgettable former judge from some forgettable west Michigan place, pretty much said God told him to run.

'Pistol' Pete Hoekstra said that the night he lost the primary for the 2010 governor's race, he and his wife knew it meant God had another plan for him. Clark Durant agreed God wanted him to run, too, but it wasn't clear whether he had confused God with Adam Smith, or if they were one and the same. Anyway, I was deeply fascinated to see how the Good Lord would hash all this out.

Frankly, I assumed that what this meant was that Michigan would end up, thanks to divine intervention, with three Republican senators, and that Debbie Stabenow and perhaps Carl Levin too would be cast into the lake of fire, or, maybe worse, the lake of Erie.

-snip-

Looking at this as the theologian I now am, all I know is that Republicans better clean up their acts. We have a vengeful God out there. Friday night, he racked up L. Brooks Patterson in a car wreck that broke both his wrists. Later, Jesus told me the only reason he wasn't killed was that at least Brooks doesn't beat up on gays.

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http://metrotimes.com/columns/does-god-hate-republicans-1.1359076?pgno=1