According to the Borowitz Report: Romney Airdrops Two Billions In Small Bill On Ohio

CINCINNATI (The Borowitz Report)—In an all-out effort to claim Ohio’s precious eighteen electoral votes, Republican Presidential nominee Mitt Romney today airdropped two billion dollars in small bills over the Buckeye State.

The Romney campaign is hoping that the crisp currency, shipped directly from Las Vegas to Ohio by casino billionaire Sheldon Adelson, will help close the gap with President Obama in the waning hours of the campaign.
Using a fleet of twin-engine aircraft, Mr. Romney littered the skies over Ohio with five- and ten-dollar bills, reserving a special airdrop of twenties and fifties for the crucial swing district of Hamilton County.

Mr. Romney’s campaign manager, Matt Rhoades, denied that the dumping of several metric tons of money onto the state of Ohio represented a desperation move on his candidate’s part: “This is all a part of our closing argument, which is, vote for Mitt Romney and money will fall from the skies into your yard.”

The former Massachusetts governor seemed confident that his latest campaign tactic would be a winner for him, telling a crowd of supporters in Cincinnati, “I’m making it rain, homies!”


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