It Takes a Village to Raise These Rapists
There are many things that bother us about cases like these. One of them is that the rapists don’t fit our image of bad guys. They’re not bad guys jumping out from behind buildings randomly raping girls, nor are they the kids “we always knew” would get in serious trouble. These are (mostly) likable boys, guys who play for the high school team and are at least reasonably good at school. They also come from “good” families, families that are well known and respected. So we ask ourselves: how could these kids possibly be rapists?
???
Let me tell you a story. The year is 1989. We’re Glen Ridge, NJ. It’s the kind of suburb you might have chosen if you were upper middle class. It was quiet, safe, and had good schools. Most of the adults were educated professionals who worked in fields like law and finance and voted for Reagan and Bush.
And then. And then a group of their boys lured a 16 year old mentally retarded* girl into one of the boys’ houses and sexually assaulted her. To be specific, she was coerced into performing oral sex and she was vaginally penetrated with a broom handle and a toy wooden baseball bat, about 18 inches long. The event was led by one of the captains of the football team. A dozen of his friends were there, most of whom were athletes; 6 left at some point during the events, but only one or two ever told the captain to stop. All the boys who stayed were football players.
http://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/andrew-smiler-it-takes-a-village-to-raise-these-rapists/
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. . . good coaching builds character. Ehrmann is a great moral leader of the sort that is in short supply today. He actually rejects machismo and what he calls "the three lies of masculinity." We need more coaches like him. The worst enemies of the sport of football are not the critics of the culture (such as myself), but the enablers among the fans.
This book is amazing (in the very positive sense of the word):
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His coaching philosophy features moral instruction and the development of empathy. I've never been a sports fan and don't even know how the game of football is played. But I endorse this book because its teachings would prevent bad behavior.
These scandals tear at my heart because of how the victims are treated after they've been raped. I believe Ehrmann's coaching philosophy would have prevented the crimes in Steuebenville, Maryville, and elsewhere. At least this is what I'd like to believe.
In the meantime, justice needs to be done in Maryville.
. . . there was a local sociopath about my age who once hit me on the head with a lead pipe without provocation hard enough to leave a permanent scar that, thankfully, is too small to be noticed. I don't know if he said this before or after the assault with the lead pipe; but, anyway, he once told me, "I can run faster than you!" I remember feeling ashamed of myself at the time, but at the back of my mind I was also thinking Why should this matter? How does this make you better than me? I've always wondered what became of Edwin, whether he was killed in Vietnam or became some sort of hypocritical blissed out hippie.
As for me, decades later I finally found my much-needed expression of physicality through pumping iron with a personal trainer in a local health club. I love working out! 
(Well, I haven't quite gotten to that point yet; but there's hope!) 
