That whole men as sole breadwinner, was fictional. Throughout time most families had both spouses working. Through most of the Industrial Revolution women and children worked alongside men, as in the coal mines of England and the textile mills of New England. In the post war boom of the 50s & 60s television portrayed the Male dominant fictional view to appease their advertisers.

Yes, men and women in the Middle Ages and throughout time have all worked, but the kids weren't farmed out to daycare; they were right alongside mom and dad and grandpa and grandma. Technically both parents could be parents and work at the same time. Today is different because workplaces are not, generally, at home, and even if they are, the jobs are usually not such that a worker can take care of two small children while working.

Frankly, if Arne Duncan and his bunch of destructive assholes weren't so busy destroying schools, I think school/daycare is fine for kids. They really don't need their parents around all the time. God knows, in some households, school and daycare has to be a relief for the kids.

My mother worked most of my growing up years, and for the usual economic reasons.

I was myself a stay at home mom the entire time my two sons were growing up, and I'm inclined to recommend it. In reality, some women have jobs/careers they really do love and want to do more than they want to do child care. Other women have the financial need.

One huge problem is that the workplace is not just unfriendly to the parents, but unfriendly to almost any possibility of having a personal life. Even forty hours a week is too much time to be away from home, children or no children. The workweek should be 30 or 32 hours max so that everyone could do more of what they really want to do. Unfortunately, the world of work is largely run by people (mostly men, but some are women) who are very highly paid, do not understand what ordinary people actually deal with, and who often have nothing in their lives except work. And they think everyone should spend every waking minute at the job or at least thinking about it.

she worked part-time sometimes, when we were in our teens. I remember that some moms did that. It just was never enough to make any major impact on finances.

And yes, the work world is totally unfriendly to having a personal life. One lie told during the 60's was that mechanization would take over so much work in the future that we would only have to work 20 hours a week and would be able to spend more time on leisure and learning. Remember that? The work is gone, that's for sure, but we didn't get our 20-hr work week with full time pay! We work 50 hours a week for less than we were getting back then!

by the turn of the 21st Century. I thought I was literally the only one who recalled that.

jobs paid nothing and 'no man who was a man' wanted to stay home to raise kids and clean house. It was also social death to be a divorcee. So Mom stayed home, due to combined economic and social pressures.

It's MEN who mostly 'assume this parent should always be Mom.' It's also men who ask "Why not dad?" You'd have to ask men why. I'm sure there are several reasons -- housework/parenting is still thankless work, even if you're a man; if you stay home you are disadvantaged economically and power-wise in the couple relationship; men, like women, feel fulfilled by work that uses their talents; most women still make less $$ than men, so they end up as the housekeepers by default; and recent studies show that men who are unemployed do LESS work at home than employed dads, so Mom herself may have serious reservations, based on experience, about letting Dad be the stay-at-home parent.

The chore wars are still being fought, and I think that women are very leery of househusbands because so many working couples already have problems dividing up (or even agreeing on what, exactly, should be done) the daily chores equitably. Women don't see that problem going away - they see it becoming magnified, with them having to do the second shift at home when Dad still doesn't 'see' the dirt on the floor, the laundry pile, the dirty bathroom towels that don't get changed out, etc.

Now, having said that, I know two families who do this and it works out fine. But both dads REALLY know what needs to be done daily, weekly, etc. Maybe if enough men become househusbands, the job will get some respect. God knows it doesn't get much when it is mainly women who do it.

There were a LOT of 50s marriages that ended in 60s divorces. Same goes for the 70s. Frankly I think it was due to the sexual revolution and a lot of holdovers with hangups. This led to the AIDs generation with a whole new set of hangups including the need to laminate everything,...often in neon or glow in the dark...

Imagine a situation where a woman puts her career on hold to care for a handicapped sister and it turns into a multi year ordeal.

I know someone like that only the genders are switched. It's a guy who was out of the job market for 23 years. He started caring for his older brother at the age of 35 and it all ended when his brother died of heart failure. Now he is trying to find work in his mid to late 50s and he has ZERO computer experience. The Internet didn't EXIST the last time he drew a paycheck.

It's okay for a WOMAN to take time out for a family obligation to CARE a sibling to keep them from being institutionalized but it seems unnatural in this society for a man to do that. Guys are supposed to be motivated by the pursuit of money and power over all else.