"Hello, President Jinping? President Obama of the United States, here. I just wanted to take a moment and personally request-"

"We have documents showing our fiber optic cables have been compromised and-"

"I welcome the discussion as always Xi, but my leg just started...It feels like a charley horse. I think I need to-"

"These are very serious allegations, Mr. President, we-"

"Wow, really need to get a banana or something! My leg...just flopping around now. It's freaking out Bo."

"Mr. President, your National Security Agency is-"

"Okay, just kicked over a potted plant. Really, gotta jet! As I said, I welcome the discussion and SoS Kerry will be giving you a followup call a little later. Okaybye!"

-CLICK-

------ (sometime later) ------

"Hello, President Putin? President Obama of the United States, here. I just wanted to take a moment and personally request-"

"We've already seen the documents and don't try the banana trick."

(lifting sheaf of papers off the desk, waving them by the phone's receiver) "Whoa! Can't hear you! Strong wind over here all of a sudden. I welcome the discussion, but I'm going to have to..."

"Mr. President, this isn't amusing. NATO already has-"

(ruffling papers harder) "...I'm going to have to close a bunch of windows in here, stuff's just blowing around everywhere! As I said, I welcome the discussion and SoS Kerry will be giving you a followup call a little later. Okaybye!"

-CLICK-