OBAMAVILLE Preview (Caution: Possible Spoilers)

As a longtime fan of horror, I’m fascinated by "Obamaville," the movie trailer/ad put recently out by Rick Santorum’s campaign. It’s got a little M. Night Shyamalan, a little Stephen King, a dash of Chick Comics, and a touch of the live action trailer for Skyrim. A hushed, slightly gravel-voiced narrator reminiscent of Rod Serling opens with, “Imagine a small American town” and what follows are quick, almost incomprehensible flashes of imagery, with occasional longer shots reminiscent of some of Diane Arbus’ more unnerving photographs.

Thinkprogress has posted an especially damning examination of the ad and it’s juxtaposition of President Obama’s face with that of Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmedinejad, along with the words “sworn American enemy.” The Santorum campaign insists that all they’re saying is that. “Ahmadenijad is the president of our sworn enemy.”

Of course, the problem with this explanation is basic English grammar. What the narrator is saying as Obama’s face flashes by is “sworn American enemy” When you line up the words “sworn American enemy,” the adjective “American” modifies the noun “enemy.” The “enemy” in that phrase is therefore an American.

I applaud Thinkprogress for this use of the pause button, but I decided to go a bit further. As a frequent film-goer, I’m a veteran of movie trailers, especially the kind made with a series of quick cuts meant to giver the viewer tantalizing glimpses of the story ahead (and offer the promise/illusion of fast-paced action to come.) Often in these trailers you can discern practically the entire plot in these quick flashes.

And so, via the wonders of Youtube and fast action with the pause button during the microsecond flash parts, I believe I’ve come up with the plot of that upcoming Santorum film [em]Obamaville[/em]. Understand, please, that I’m just kind of spitballing here, and may be wrong on some points. One thing’s for sure. Something evil, even Satanic, is afoot in Obamaville…

The trailer opens with that cawing raven from Skyrim, bare trees and a bleak, deserted community. Houses are black, angular silhouettes against the sky. As in the beginning of Salem’s Lot, no human beings are visible. A playground is inexplicably empty, children apparently snatched off the carousel and out of their shoes!

[em]Someone is taking the children![/em]

And here comes a series of quick, microsecond image flashes! Shot of trees through tears or possibly badly clouded contact lenses, a close-up of the corner of someone’s wide and wet blue eye, a quick flash of a blonde mother standing on her front porch with two identical little girls in white:





(These are who the hero needs to protect)

and another of men wearing expensive watches and drinking coffee laughing around a table in a smokefilled room.



(These are the bad guys)

A handsome young man standing in a dark, blue filtered room turns his head as though listening, the moonlight falling on his throat in a shot straight out of [em]Twilight[/em].



Our hero senses something evil is afoot! and he’s right because:



Someone’s put the baby in a red jumper!

And then everything goes black and we segue into a shot of an apparently dark-skinned woman with lush red lipstick going “shhhhhhhh.”



It’s a sinister, seductive conspiracy!

Okay, back to relatively normal flashes. Pale, abandoned building facades, “Closed” signs, a young couple stands in a kitchen over a bowl of fruit, a depressed little girl sits on a bench in front of a clapboard building with an old picture next to her. (Quick close-up of the ghostly little girl in the old picture) And now we’re seeing shadowy, empty hospital rooms, a sinister corridor and – what’s that red flash? Why, it’s this:



Someone in a surgical mask is bathed in red light and obviously up to no good.

Gas prices are going up! Candles are being blown out. Grandma is depressed (possibly because her video camera keeps malfunctioning), and good-looking Grandpa’s smiling bravely as he does yard-work. Time is passing quickly, and now we’re seeing scary Muslims on the TV, with that now notorious sequence of Obama’s face quickly and briefly interspersed with the Iranian presidents and that crack about our “sworn American enemy”

Another murky shot of a terrified eye! Men in suits are walking in lockstep when they aren’t sitting outside and reading something that makes them frown. Street sign reading “Wall Street”, weird tree, men in suits toasting something, a bald guy’s been laid off, a shot of the white house and a termination notice in Latin. A man in shirtsleeves and loosened tie slumps unhappily in his living room.

People are getting angry. I gather that our everyman and his family are connecting with likeminded folks, holding quiet meetings, conferring in low voices. Something has got to give…And that means more flashes!

A map of the roads leading into Washington DC!



A shot of a vacant lot, then of the Capitol, a murky glimpse of what looks like a press conference:



An unflattering shot of President Obama:



A guy rides past in a car, glaring intently at someone out of his open driver’s side window (and I’m willing to bet there’s a rifle out of sight on the seat beside him):



Note that this guy is, balding, paunchy, and smoking a cigarette, which in movie shorthand mean’s he’s a screw-up. I imagine this is a well-intentioned, but hotheaded citizen who attempts to take matters into his own hands and, alas, gets caught and just makes things worse. He probably attended one or two meetings at our hero’s house, and in the manner of balding, paunchy, cigarette smoking characters in dystopian films, he broke quickly under interrogation and talked. Our hero is arrested. And though his family breaks the piggy-bank the cost of lawyers being what they are…:





Yes, he is in prison, but what of his family? They must flee! Flee into the woods!



If they could, they would leave the country, but alas, the rocky and dangerous shoreline prevents them launching their fragile little boat:



They can only watch helplessly from hiding as scary muslims wave flags. And as for imprisoned Dad, he must walk down that sinister corridor:



and…



OMG! SOYLENT GREEN IS PEOPLE….!

No wonder the capitol is now bathed in blood:



Obama looks vengeful:



That dark lady’s shushing us again:



This funny lady’s making a face:



(Don’t know who she is, but she looks kind of like the teacher in panel 22 of the old Chick Comic, The Last Generation.)



Obama has cheered up:



Possibly because not only is Dad being sold as premium ground buffalo meat at Whole Foods, but that poor baby is now in a red jumpsuit and a red bassinet:




And then blackout and “Welcome to Obamaville…”

Naturally, they aren’t going to give away the ending. I have to confess that I’m intrigued. Will the baby stay red? Will our plucky family escape? Is the little blonde girl going to age into a tough/gorgeous blonde teenager who's good with automatic weapons? Will the villainous Obama get his just desserts? Usually, when this kind of trailer shows the bad guy smiling, it’s to prime the audience for him coming to an especially sticky end.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see. If anyone out there has seen the film and can enlighten us (Am I right in that there's a scene where a school of robotic kidnapped children in red jumpsuits chant "Obama is our Master" over and over again?) I'd love to hear from them.

Crossposted from Thoughtcrimes