Someone Thought A Rap Song About Ted Cruz Was A Good Idea

Congratulations, Ted Cruz! Whether you want it or not, you now have an inspiring Rap Anthem to help you become not-President, even if you’re more into country music because that’s where the polling is the genre that helped America most after 9/11. But don’t fret: even though it’s not your preferred genre, this rap song is loaded with enough rightwing argle and bargle to fill a whole tea party rally’s homemade signs.

There are a couple of things about this video that are Not Awful. The singing is on key, for instance, and there are no distracting visuals to weaken the impact of the lyrics printed on the screen. And because it is mostly inept rapping, there’s virtually no annoying tune to get stuck in your head, sparing listeners the agony of a Ted Cruz Earworm. Also, the torture ends after only four minutes, and it’s far less likely to make you feel like you’re on the brink of death than waterboarding or any song by Iggy Azalea.

Of course, there are some downsides, like the lyrics and the lyrics and the lyrics. This is an anthem that scoops up a bunch of rightwing talking points, drops them into a blender, and spits out semi-rhyming crap like this, all to a fine drum-machine backing:

It’s like we’re back in the late seventies
Labor force is dead, emboldened enemies
Can you hear the voice of Reagan,
saying the fed is not the remedy
The banner’s in the air
for the conservative ascendancy

America, these are perilous time,
but there is meant to be
A remnant of the righteous
to exempt us from our penalty
When power is concentrated
centrally and federally
It creates dependency
that’s medically like leprosy

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http://wonkette.com/586761/someone-thought-a-rap-song-about-ted-cruz-was-a-good-idea