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Grins

(7,217 posts)
Wed Apr 18, 2018, 03:41 PM Apr 2018

The fickle finger... I split a gut last night watching Jim Jefferies hammer Trump/GOP...

17 April 2018 episode. Almost fell on the floor! First topic was Trump launching missiles at Syria. On April the 11th the great orange menace tweeted:

"Get ready Russia, because they (missiles) will be coming. Nice and new and "smart"!

Mr. Jefferies....
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"Of course they're new! They're missiles. Missiles aren't something you can use over and over again. They're not condoms!

No. No. I don't reuse them for sex. That would be ridiculous. I use them as punching bags to train my hamster. He's got a big fight coming up. <Shows image of hamster in boxing gloves.> "Ya gotta' eat pellets and shit lightening!! Eye of the beaver!" The beaver is the equivalent of the tiger in his world.

Let's be honest. Trump doesn't really care about the people of Syria. <Goes to CNN graphic showing numbers of Syrians admitted to the US; 2016: 15,479; 2017: 3,024; 2018: 11.>

That's what you'd call 'a reduced number'.

See, we can't go into a country and start blowing stuff up if we aren't going to help the refugees we're creating in the process. France and Briton are taking in as many as 30,000 refugees, And Germany - is taking in a million! Germany! Good for you, Germany. Nice effort. <Stares at camera.> But we still remember what 'ya did.

We've only taken in eleven Syrian refugees this year! ELEVEN! I've had a doctor's finger in my ass more than 11-times! Way more! Well, they say they're doctors. And I don't know why they work out of the back of a food truck, and normally doctors don't work in groups, but anyway.

But my point is, until the United States starts taking in hundreds of refugees, it seems my asshole is more tolerant than this country.

We'll be right back.

==========================

Second part, on Comey's book:

&quot Comey's book) is called "A Higher Loyalty, Truth, Lies, and Leadership" And let's just get to the thing everyone wants to hear about - the piss tape. <Laughter.> No. I know. I hate talking about it because it's such a shameful waste of two prostitutes in a hotel room. But this is a comedy show, and we have to talk about it; Goddammit!

<Shows a clip of Rick Santorum, Sarah Sanders, Jeanine Pirro, all calling Comey a narcissist, a blatant liar, and a leaker.>

"James Comey is a life-long Republican and respected career law enforcement official. I'm not saying he didn't fuck the country - he did! But now, the Party that benefited - is trying to destroy him for telling the truth!

And for what, Republicans? What are you doing it for? Trump has no loyalty to you. He has loyalty to only one thing: All the hookers.
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You may have to go through a hoop or two to see the clip, but it's not too bad.

See it here: http://www.cc.com/episodes/mx5a0v/the-jim-jefferies-show-april-17--2018---comey-s-nasty-little-tell-all-season-2-ep-204

(I have no idea why DU automatically inserted that smilie. I didn't put it there.)
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The fickle finger... I split a gut last night watching Jim Jefferies hammer Trump/GOP... (Original Post) Grins Apr 2018 OP
He is so funny KT2000 Apr 2018 #1
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