A Joke That Popped Up On My FB Feed...

I was at Samsclub buying a bag of Purina Dog Chow for my dog in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. Why else would I be buying dog chow, RIGHT??? So on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again, and that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in ICU, with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms. I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and all you do is load your pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) Horrified, she asked if I ended up in ICU because the dog food poisoned me. I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's butt and a car hit me.