Maggie was a vile human being. Your brain simply deleted her.

I was using the automated prescription renewal service from my local pharmacy. They ask you to punch in your phone number. Well, guess what, I forgot my own phone number that I've had for over 30 years. Just drew a complete blank! I had to hang up and go search for a phone bill, and there it was. I gave myself the biggest forehead slap ever that day.

mrs. unblock once signed me up (over my objections) for the new york times crossword puzzle championship.
it's an annual event held (that year, at least) in westport, connecticut, near to where we had just moved.
once upon a time i used to do the new york times crosswords every day when i worked in manhattan, but that was years before.
i was really out of practice, so i had no shot at winning, but figured it might be fun so i went.

so we're in a big room with all the competitors, about 6 to a table. mrs. unblock wasn't competing, so she could only look in from the hallway. so after a lengthy orientation with will shortz, editor of the new york times crossword puzzles making some jokes and explaining the rules, there were 3 rounds, each 20 minutes long. after each round, they have to collect the completed crosswords and mark them up to keep score, and that takes a good 15 minutes, so there was plenty of time to chat with your neighbors.

the guy across from me was an older gentleman, nice guy, and people kept coming up to him from other tables and shaking his hand and thanking for him for all that he has done. i just figured he was some retired mayor or something. even after that big hint that he was someone famous, i didn't clue in as to who he was.

after the final round i clock my wife out in the hallway waving me over. i go over and she tells me how impressed she is that i'm mr. cool and she would be a babbling fool if she were in my position. so i'm like, "why, it's just a crossword competition."

and she says, "do... do you really not know who you've been sitting right across from for the last three hours?"
"uh, should i?"
"dude! how can you not recognize phil donohue?"

so, yeah. i sat and chatted with phil donohue, who i had seen on t.v. maybe a thousand times, and completely did not recognize him.




a few years later, i picked up poker. one time we went to a casino (foxwoods, here in connecticut). to my right at the poker table was a chatty older man. now, i think i'm a decent poker player now, but back then, i knew i sucked. it takes time to learn how to not lose money like a fool. so i was losing money to the table as a whole, but i was winning it back from this older guy on my right.

somehow, i just got this vibe from him, i knew exactly when he was bluffing and when he had the goods. which is unusual, because that's not at all my strength or even approach to poker, i'm much more mathematical about it. reading people's body language is hollywood's view of poker, in real poker, that's a very hard thing to do well, mainly because body language mostly tells you only that someone is nervous -- which could be either because they're bluffing or because they have a really huge hand, so it doesn't really help you.

anyway, eventually the older guy has had enough, he looks to me and says i've got his number so he's switching tables.

when he leaves, i say to the rest of the table, "i'm going to miss that guy."

and they all look at me and say "'that guy'? do you really not know who that was?"

and again, i say, no, should i? wondering if he's some sort of famous poker player i somehow managed to beat.

"dude, that's james woods. you know, from like, a hundred movies?"

so, yeah, i also spend several hours playing poker and chatting with james woods and had no idea who he was until it was pointed out to me.

you might not recognize them, so not that weird.

She's brilliant at spotting famous people at restaurants, or when they make cameos on sit-coms. She can pause the video one nanosecond after their shadow appears onscreen and she's already identified them even though they've aged 20 years since their last appearance anywhere.

Hey it was hot....so we were drinking beer.... and there was some pot.

Helluva a shot really. I excused myself with the foursome who had arrived on their green and took my ball and scurried away.

Oh and I'm really good at hiding things from myself. My daughter's Social Security care is SOMEWHERE in this house we just don't know where.

I once got out to my car to go to work before realizing that I had neglected to put on pants. Fortunately it was winter and cold enough to make sure I didn't get to work without pants.

Another time I got home after a long day at work, laid down on the bed and the next thing I know it's 7:30 and I'm supposed to be at work. I get dressed, run out the door drive all the way to work and nobody is there because I was then about 11 hours and 30 minutes early for work as it was evening. I didn't notice the sun was on the wrong side. I very awkwardly went back home.

I got up ahead of the alarm, showered, dressed, had a cup of coffee, walked out to the bus stop and waited. Usually a bus came along within five minutes, but this morning it was longer than that. Then I thought that traffic was unusually light for a Monday. Looked at my calendar watch. Traffic's light for a Monday, but it's probably just right for a SUNDAY. I casually and sheepishly walked back home.

...I've been living where I'm living for eleven years now, and whenever I write my address, I can't remember if it's Drive or Road.

I have to look it up.

In fact, I don't know right now.

...no kidding. My grandmother was family friends with Kate Hepburn's folks, and as a result I'd sometimes hang out at her home in Saybrook, CT, during the summer. One fine summer day--I was in my mid-teens, don't recall exactly which year but it was the late 60s--I was reading a book on the veranda about the assassination of JFK. Up comes this very distinguished-looking gray-haired man with a British accent that still seemed a little weird, who was intrigued by the subject and we talked for about a half-hour. I remember that he was *very* skeptical about the official lone-nut theory. And it was only towards the end that I realized who the hell it was. I think my not recognizing him amused him a little...in any event, I wasn't a particular old-film buff then, and he hadn't made a film at that point in years. But I still blush occasionally about my ignorance...