That's okay, I'll just forget again.

It’s a game featuring hair-dos and rock throwing played on a long strip of ice.

really? LOL

You still watch it while playing it... and it's not just Europeans... it's everyone but the US*

*15M Americans play soccer

A lot of my friends are EPL fans, and they were having a lot of fun watching, so I determined that I had to find a team. Eventually, I found one I wanted to root for (Tottenham Hotspur), and it became far, far more interesting.

I knew that this would be the case after, years ago, watching Ireland play Italy in an Irish pub. Having a team really makes all the difference in the world.

...as opposed to "American" football where the players have to take a break after every 30 seconds of "action".

and then wait 40 or 45 seconds until they're finished drinking water, getting oxygen and lining up AGAIN.

NFL is made for tv. You watch a play for 6 seconds and then 40-45 seconds of replays from every angle.

Would stop the clock in these scenarios, but not soccer!

Free kicks
Penalties
Ball goes out of bounds
Substitutions
(mostly fake) injuries

Plus there is a TON of dead time even as the clock is ticking. Two teams kicking the ball around in midfield isn't exciting.

Nothing else comes close. These sort of US jokes grew stale decades ago.

and growing.

So your point....?

That's it.

"So your point....?"

I'd imagine the point is that being the most popular sport in the world outweighs a mere joke in terms of both credibility and validity.

And now I'm off to grab a Big Mac and some fries. Just to piss off the pompous and the high-brow... and 'cause I like them.

The football is on the left while the soccer ball is on the right.

In Europe, the thing on the right is a football, and the thing on the left is a custom-painted M&M.

When they ask what in the world I mean, I explain that every time the Spanish national soccer team plays somewhere, thousands of fans travel to the game to cheer their country on, yelling "Panya, Panya Panya!" It always gets a laugh out of them because that is indeed exactly what they shout. What they are really shouting, of course, is "España, España, España," but it never comes out that way when shouted very rapidly three times in a row.

Now that the European championships are underway, my wife is very relieved. Her mom is quite ill, and her mom's town is only reachable by car. The hospital she is in is really lousy, with disinterested, absent doctors. Earlier this week, my wife heard her mom's breathing sounding very rough, and she demanded the hospital check for pneumonia. They didn't want to, but my wife is a social worker used to dealing with disinterested doctors and agencies, and didn't take no for an answer. They finally checked, and whaddaya know, her mom had pneumonia. She drives up there and back now about twice a week. I hate, it because the autobahn network in our area is clogged with a lot of trucks from Eastern Europe, and those guys are overworked, over-tired, and often drunk. Driving that route is just plain dangerous. A few years ago, a truck demolished her car (while she was standing still!), and she was almost killed inside it. But for the moment, she is relieved, because all roads in Germany are only about two thirds as clogged as usual. Why? Because so many people are home watching soccer games!

And I'd rather watch Rugby Union than either.

They gang brawl at the games so there’s something interesting to do while drinking.

Always the most laughably defensive and paranoid whenever this type of topic shows up.

As soon as I saw the topic I knew darn well there would be a branch from scared baseball fans.

If I wanted to watch people knock themselves out for 90 minutes without ever scoring --

I'd bring my friends to the bar.

and you're bored out of your mind watching. The fact that the score is usually 0-0 in this scenario doesn't help matters.

Give me basketball anyday.