I'm a "the glass is half empty" type of person.

In fact, don't use a glass.

You have to wash glasses.

Use a plastic solo cup instead, then throw it away after you optimists fill it half way up and say "oooooh that cup is half full"! It's not half full, it's half empty, you jerk.

Stupid glass.

Stupid Solo cup.

Just drink whatever that goddamn shit is in the cup and quit trying to figure out what percentage of liquid is in there. Drink that shit and just get on with your life. Go take a long moonlit walk on the beach while holding hands, you stupid idiot.