Dementia is a cruel and painful disease...for those afflicted and those who love them. Early onset is especially virulent. I lost my dad and grandad to early onset dementia...it’s awful.

What is the next step for each of you? For him, will his medication allow him to live on his own, at least for a while? For you, what do you do with the boxes and how will this change affect your relationship with him?

It's a seemingly nice facility. I told him he doesn't have to cook or do dishes,
or split wood for heat.

That's rough. My sister and I are not very close, and we are entering into the phase of life where we will have to start making arrangements for our parents as things happen... not looking forward to those interactions...

What will you do with his stuff? store it? Have you been able to talk to him about anything relevant?

I couldn't afford a storeroom and I have the room. He never owned much,
except books--boxes and boxes of books. Mostly European History and many
are quite old. I may donate them to the library.

But what a good brother you are to step in and take charge. I hope that you are able to visit him, if that is what you choose to do. Maybe you could ask him if there are a few things that he would like to keep with him, assuming that he is able to tell you. Otherwise, please consider donating what you can to a men's shelter.

Nothing. I don't think he can read his prized books anymore.
I have already given much of his clothes away--to my old man buddies.

or a favorite coffee cup.

Very similar. He grew up during the depression and his stuff was important to him. He would get angry when we discussed sell or moving his stuff. He didn't remember us but recognized we talking about this property.

My grandmother tried to take of him with my mother's help but eventually we had to put him in a nursing home in the locked ward, so he would not wander off looking for one of his things. Something he had done repeatedly.

It is tough, each time, had to go through cancer with my mom and grandmother, stroke with my paternal grandfather and dealing with Parkinson's with my step dad now.

Dementia is so nasty. I'm sorry you weren't close, but that is never a guarantee within a family, especially when one personality is a loner. c

There are a lot of people out there who never had children, or perhaps are estranged from them, and who are getting older with no one at all to look after them or their interests down the line.

I think a lot about that. I was likewise born in '48. I have one son who will probably never marry and have children, which is fine. I know he will do a reasonable job of making sure I'm taken care of if I can no longer do it for myself, but I worry a great deal about what will happen to him eventually.

Two of my three brothers never married and they are both experiencing health issues. One lives quite close to my sister, the other happens to be in Tucson. I'm the nearest family member, and I'm some 500 miles away in Santa Fe.

It's tough. There's a lot to be said for the extended families of the past, even though they were far from perfect.

...and some of my grandparents love letters...lots of stuff with moms handwriting and notes she wrote to her children saying how much she loved us. You will get to know your brother a lot better probably..after going through his boxes of stuff.