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UTUSN

(70,725 posts) Fri Apr 5, 2019, 10:08 PM Apr 2019

A pome. (first draft)

If a lost (40 years) lover called,
like, what are you doing?

Oh, flossing. Or making a salad.
Things I do now I didn't before.
I have a lover now. 30 years.
We do separate things.
Always there, here. That's something.
No sturm drun (sp). Fine.
We've got dogs, the best.
Haven't written the book.
Might never. Anyway books so over.
Like, after Romeo and Juliet
who cares?
Everybody's done it all and
the cosmos is colliding
now or whenever, so...
You? What's up (no question mark,
not really a question).

************The EDITS are the 2nd, 3rd/whatever drafts.

8 replies

= new reply since forum marked as read

Highlight:

A pome. (first draft) (Original Post) UTUSN Apr 2019 OP

Very Kerouac nt Xipe Totec Apr 2019 #1

Wow, so nice, thanks. My stuff is just non-poem regurgitating. UTUSN Apr 2019 #2

Very good! Thanks for posting!❤ Karadeniz Apr 2019 #3

Wow, thanks. UTUSN Apr 2019 #4

I really like it lillypaddle Apr 2019 #5

... jpak Apr 2019 #6

As my Viennese therapist said when I shared my poetry with him, "That could be verse!" abqtommy Apr 2019 #7

Yea, I thought about telling one of the complimentary posters it sounded like therapy but UTUSN Apr 2019 #8

Xipe Totec

(43,890 posts)

1. Very Kerouac nt

Reply to UTUSN (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2019, 10:13 PM

Apr 2019

UTUSN

(70,725 posts)

2. Wow, so nice, thanks. My stuff is just non-poem regurgitating.

Reply to Xipe Totec (Reply #1)

Fri Apr 5, 2019, 10:15 PM

Apr 2019

Karadeniz

(22,563 posts)

3. Very good! Thanks for posting!❤

Reply to UTUSN (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2019, 10:51 PM

Apr 2019

UTUSN

(70,725 posts)

4. Wow, thanks.

Reply to Karadeniz (Reply #3)

Fri Apr 5, 2019, 11:09 PM

Apr 2019

lillypaddle

(9,581 posts)

5. I really like it

Reply to UTUSN (Original post)

Fri Apr 5, 2019, 11:50 PM

Apr 2019

You should write more pomes.

jpak

(41,758 posts)

6. ...

Reply to UTUSN (Original post)

Sat Apr 6, 2019, 03:27 AM

Apr 2019

abqtommy

(14,118 posts)

7. As my Viennese therapist said when I shared my poetry with him, "That could be verse!"

Reply to UTUSN (Original post)

Sat Apr 6, 2019, 11:19 PM

Apr 2019

While I totally respect poetic license, I believe the correct usage is "sturm and drang". There's an interesting definition for that, basically means "storm and stress". Keep creating, keep sharing
since:

Anyone can write a pome
In the comfort of their home,
Send it to a shop in Nome
And have it published in a tome.

copyright abqtommy

UTUSN

(70,725 posts)

8. Yea, I thought about telling one of the complimentary posters it sounded like therapy but

Reply to abqtommy (Reply #7)

Sat Apr 6, 2019, 11:42 PM

Apr 2019

didn't want to Kick the thread up.

I purposely didn't look up the sturm deal, which I could have done, and purposely inserted the " (sp) " as an intended integral part of the so-called "poem" (not as an editorial mark) to suit the tone of lazy raw emotion. I really don't see my stuff as creative and am embarrassed the morning after for having shared.

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