I don't know what to say other than I hope this story has a somewhat happy ending. Even though I know that's not likely.

Just trying to express friendship and solidarity here.

Obviously the odds are against them. But until it's over, it just isn't.

Remember, my wife was that one woman in 10,000 that survived the rare form of cancer that she had 3 years ago. One has no choice other than to hope to win the same lottery.

I can’t begin to imagine that.

I've gone through it twice with my wife. She beat it both times. I probably won't be so lucky. I hope our girls are sensible about getting regular check-ups, considering their genetic burden. Even when logic dictates to prepare for the worst, human nature keeps us clinging to that small hope that things will work out. It's just in our nature, and sometimes--like my wife--you DO luck out. So why not hope for it? There's always time to contemplate the worst.

Doctor friend and to his son. 😪

It is also frustrating to know there is nothing we can do to help, that the best care is still no cure.

It was just a lot of literature searches.

My mother died from one many years ago. So I have direct experience of them as a family member.

I had hoped there would be better news when my friend's niece contracted one, but unfortunately, the success has been limited. Her niece passed.

I wish I could say something comforting, but I'm at a loss for words.

My aunt died of one around age 60, and her youngest son, my cousin, also at age 41.

One can only wish for good time as long as we can have it, and a peaceful passing when time's up.

...of a new approach to certain cancers, a form of genetic based personalized medicine relying on specifically engineered cancer vaccines based on "neoantigens."

Although I have seen many types of impressive technologies fail, this one struck me as interesting. Tumor biopsy samples must be available. It has has a successful phase I clinical trial in gliabastoma, published in Nature.

If you think this of interest, PM me and I'll share more information.

It's the first I heard of this technology but from the scientific talk I heard, it seems quite feasible. It is an immunological derived mechanism if action.

Please remind me on Sunday. I am in Berlin for a working weekend.

Thanks!

but I have a story to tell also. In 2015, my brother, both my sisters (one with gleoplastoma, although she is holding on) and myself were all diagnosed with one form of cancer or another. It's in our genes. Both parents died of cancer. I have been living with Mantle Cell Lymphoma for four years.
My wife and I were both diagnosed with lung cancer just three weeks ago, within a couple of days of each other. She has stage 4 small cell lung cancer. Very aggressive spreads to other organs quickly. She asks for prayers.
On top of my MCL (which is rare, chronic and unpredictable) I have stage two non small cell lung cancer. We are into our second week (of seven weeks) of radiation. Her third chemo treatment was yesterday, she will have three treatments for chemo very three weeks, plus radiation 5 days a week. I have one treatment once per week, plus 5 days of radiation. The closest place for radiation is 65 miles round trip.
As you say, it certainly puts a lot of things in perspective. Life, happiness, love for your fellow human beings....I post my GFM page here with some trepidation. But my wife is in real need right now. It will probably be taken down but when you are so poor you have to put your name out there....well we are in real need.
https://www.gofundme.com/f/y4d8hs

Both my parents and all their siblings had cancer. With me it's not a question of "if," but "when." My wife has had cancer twice now, and the second time, it was a rare form of uterine cancer known here in Germany as Der Mörder, or "The Murderer." The first time, in 2001, it was a nasty form of breast cancer, but most of her female ancestors had cancer (her mother twice already, too) and beat it to live into their mid 90s. A year of operations, chemo and radiation beat the breast cancer. She was that one case in 10,000 where the Murderer was discovered by sheer accident, and in its initial stage, and she beat it, too. One of her female friends across the border in the Netherlands had it, too, but it was discovered (as usual) too late. She didn't survive a year after diagnosis. We also have the good luck to live in the Düsseldorf area, with several top clinics nearby specializing in cancer treatment, including "the Murderer." It's a true rarity that anyone actually survives that, but they are experts in treating it in its later stages, too.

When it's my turn, I hope not to be a burden on her if she's still around. Being German, her German health insurance took care of her treatments. Since I am not, and my employer isn't either, I'm stuck with my American insurance, which is to say, virtually none at all. The Germans are quite willing to take 50% of my paycheck , but give me nothing in return.

Life can be difficult, tragic and painful at times. Pain and pleasure come together as a package in cycles. Joy and sorrow, birth and death, and all the other dual aspects of life come and go like waves on the ocean. Various philosophies have delved into that rather deeply.

We may not contemplate that much, especially in this culture, but the problem has been considered since ancient times. People think of Buddhism as merely a religion, but is more of a dialogue and philosophy combined with various practices, and some people are the devout kind, but that is not the main focus really. Hinduism also has a certain type of teaching, like an apotheosis, that grapples with the nature of existence.

So, if you understand that there is a "knowledge" type of teaching and a "devotional" type, then it is clear that our idea of religion does not necessarily apply. The reason there are two types like that is that they recognized that some people are more prone to thinking and knowledge, (philosophy) and other people are more emotive and devotional, (worship, ritual). There is not really an atheist/theist problem here if you understand that, unless you want/need there to be one.

I am bringing that up because we do try to make some sense or understand the suffering and pain that can come with life, but this is not about becoming a Buddhist or Hindu, etc. It is more like, see if this makes sense and is helpful because it is true when you observe. It also might bring more compassion to the table.

There is what are called, The Three Marks of Existence, in Buddhist philosophy, for instance. They are as fundamental as the Four Noble Truths, which focus primarily on suffering and its cessation.

The first mark is that everything, (without exclusion) is impermanent and subject to change. Why does contemplating that matter? Well, notice how we tend to build our lives and personalities around an expectation of the opposite. Doing that is not wrong or bad, we do like stability and consistency, but it is about the suffering that we experience when delusional expectations meet the reality of change. So, perhaps it is then more obvious that, when you observe and admit that impermanence is the rule and not the exception you become more aligned with the reality of it. The more you do that, even though changes may be difficult and painful at times, you are able to be realistic about it and not add to the suffering by way of expectation and resistance, (and I mean the psychological resistances).

A good example of that is the idea of the "second arrow". I won't give the long version. It is about adding suffering to suffering and that is a subject for another time. That can be avoided and resolved with time if it is understood correctly.

Also, we naturally equate pain with suffering and that requires compassion for ourselves and others. However, you do find that as you explore the nature of existence, pain and suffering are not necessarily the same thing which sounds counter-intuitive and does require more depth, of course. It is about the ability to deal with pain better if possible. It is not a dictate or dogma, to be clear here.

I won't go into the next to marks because, for me, they are like levels. When you fully understand the first one and it is realized as true, the second is like a level up and so is the third, at least, that is the way I would relate it.

May all beings be happy, free of all suffering of mind and body and filled with loving kindness!

As a competent doctor, he is well aware of what happened to him. However, he also knows that recovery from a severe stroke is a lottery that can be won or lost in an instant. Even a doctor is capable of feeling the frustration of willing one's body to do what it has done for nearly seven decades, and suddenly not having it obey. Bridging the gap between understanding and acceptance is not necessarily easy.

I fully understand that pain and suffering are not necessarily the same thing. He feels no pain as such, but suffers immensely merely knowing he is incapable of living his life as he had been doing all this time. As a doctor, he also no doubt suffers from not being able to help treat his son, relegated to being a helpless spectator who understands all too well what his son is up against. I'm sure he is straining against the invisible restraints that his current condition has imposed upon him--and is having to realize against his will that it is a battle he cannot win. Acceptance will come slowly, and I doubt any of the rest of us, his friends and family, would tell him to lay back and take it as it comes at this point. It is too soon, and it would fall on deaf ears.

I am sorry if I didn't make it clear.

In the context that I was using it, it is blanket term, so the psychiatric, pathological definition is not what I meant.

Also, what I conveyed is to be taken as something to be considered in a far more general way, initially. In the case that you are describing, compassion is first and foremost rule, not philosophical considerations. The patterns and habits we accumulate are not easily transcended due to their momentum. However, one can grasp the essence of what was related and ADAPT it to the situation. That's referred to as skillful means, whereas wisdom is its counterpart. It is not about denial of a person's state, condition or view, of course.

With that in mind, relief of suffering is what matters and I apologize for not considering the impact of the wording in a general context.


Definition of delusion

1a : something that is falsely or delusively believed or propagated

//under the delusion that they will finish on schedule delusions of grandeur

b psychology : a persistent false psychotic belief regarding the self or persons or objects outside the self that is maintained despite indisputable evidence to the contrary the delusion that someone was out to hurt him also : the abnormal state marked by such beliefs

2 : the act of tricking or deceiving someone : the state of being deluded … accused the Bohemian of having practiced the most abominable arts of delusion among the younger brethren.— Walter Scott

https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/delusion

I would like to add that I am not a Buddhist or Hindu. I find labels, at this point to be superfluous. So, this is not the promotion of a specific means, just a tool for one's toolbox, so to speak. It can be put in many ways.

I am also not: a theist, atheist, anti-theist, agnostic or Gnostic. That kind of statement can frustrate and irritate some people. Those are all particular views that one can hold or argue for or against.

Be Well!

YOU!

I think a brain MRI should be done every 5 years, just like a a colonoscopy. Brain cancers are silent killers, that all too often aren't detected until it's too late.

If that were possible, they probably WOULD be done every 5 years.

this disease. They were all in the UK and I remember one survivor was 5+ years. I'd have the son investigate this. NPR may still have the story as a podcast. Good luck.

5 Years with a glioblastoma is close to a record (I think 7 years is the record after diagnosis). My wife's brother was given 6 months after his diagnosis, and he lasted two and a half years.