because my scumbag biological father convinced my mother to go away with him for the weekend to try to fix their relationship the day after she had him served with divorce papers. The marriage lasted another 4 horrible years. The kicker of that story is that 10 years later he sued her to challenge paternity. Her response was, and I quote, "Really motherfucker?! If you hadn't knocked me up, I was going to leave you then. If he'd been anybody else's, I'd have been ecstatic."

I'm in Vegas right now!