Then leave or minimum turn away.

I know it's difficult, but "Enough".

I had to do something similar with a close cousin many years ago when she brought up the RW meme/rumor that HRC was a lesbian." I said something similar and she ceased saying anything since.

I don't believe in arguing things that are cut and dry. I see plenty of shades of gray in my life, but some things are black and white (no pun intended).

This is honest and straightforward and applies to the immediate situation. Lectures or attempting to engage with these folks is worse than futile, and it elevates their ugly opinions to something that's worth talking about. Use of that word is indefensible, so why try to explain what's wrong with using it.

Some day this will all be over, and *maybe* relations within families can be salvaged.

With a family member who was praising Bush on the war. She was driving, we were coming back from an overnight trip to a Casino. I listened for a while, then quietly said,” I disagree with this war.” She was shocked, asked me what I said, I repeated it. Never heard the war or Politics again.

We are great friends, fellow MIL’s. I never said any more. She is very ill now, in skilled living. We never had a harsh word.

Just state your stand.

until she changes her behavior.

I cut off all ties with my family 17 years ago when they collectively began referring to my wife and daughter with racial slurs (and they also told me I was destined for hell when they found out quiet old me was atheist). When I objected, they circled the wagons and doubled down. To this day they think I am the one with the problem. Their loss.

Haven't missed them one damned bit.

I am fortunate that nobody in my family appears to be a trump junkie.

one is an Evangelical Christian, Trump lover. I tried to co-exist with her by remaining silent on political discussions when we had family gatherings. She would not refrain from lording her superior right-wing beliefs and trying to save the rest of us from our idiotic left leanings. My younger brother tried and tried to be the peacemaker in the family but peace was not as important to my sister as trying to convert the rest of us, and to let us know how stupid we were.

I still love her, and I wish her peace and happiness, but I can not be in her presence, and will not talk to her on the phone, and I will not answer her letters.

It is a shame, but it is what it is.

you two. You must, as you know, stand up for your beliefs and rights.

People such as your sister the trump lover, will find soon that they are the only ones w/ those particular beliefs of theirs, while the rest of the Country has moved on. Your sister will discover that she's had the wool pulled over her eyes the whole time, and she only has herself to blame. She can go elsewhere and insult others if she feels like she must, but she'll find out that people don't like being insulted for their beliefs. Maybe someday your sister will get wiser and know better.

Like you've already decided, don't deal with her (phone, letters, be around her, etc.). These people are toxic and literally not worth it to be around.

I'm the same way kind of, w/ two of my siblings, but due to their alcoholism, not beliefs or such. My non-alcoholic sister and I have tried literally everything to help alcoholic sister and brother to stop drinking, medications, therapies, etc., nothing seems to work, or if it does work, it's very temporary.

So we're to the point that before we expend any more resources and / or energy in trying to help them again, the two of them must first acknowledge that they have a drinking problem...they have yet to decide so. So, anything we do is literally a waste of time, until that point they are serious about recovery and serious about being an alcoholic. This is the moral of my story, 'It is a shame, but it is what it is.'.

Best wishes to you and stay strong!

That is a huge characteristic of right wing 'evangelical Christians"

It is vital that each member bring new people "into the fold" (or cult)

Methodists still have mission teams but their major purpose is not to convert, but to lift up the communities they serve.

I find that some people who are most insistent at forcing their beliefs on others are the one most insecure in their own beliefs. They get reassurance and reinforcement in blasting others with them, in the hope of confirmation of their own shaky faith.

In Dave Barry's famous "25 things I have learned in 50 years," number 12 is:

"People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them."

I was once asked to contribute to some lost soul's mission to go to India and convert people there to Christianity. I said I would contribute an amount equal to the amount she would contribute to people in India coming to the USA to convert the people there to Hinduism. No money changed hands, needless to say.

I don’t have the time or energy for that level of soulless hatred.

nor will I talk with you if you use it.

I haven't had to do that in a long time though; I just don't associate with people who would do it

All of us experience disturbances in life and wish the disturbances were not.
Those who can see and drop out of the game can be sane.

The game may be small as a family gathering, or large like Christmas mall shopping.
The game may not be salvageable.

Currently masses are marching in opposition to the 'cops and robbers' game. This is good.
But is still playing on the other teams field.

Our field is deeply rooted with the weeds of racism. Cutting off the growing tops hides things below 'lawn-order' but leaves the thorns. Thorniness keeps us from risking our own pain, our own fear of failure if we drop out of the game.

In family leaving the field can be problematic. Playing the others' games with their rules reinforces the rule-makers' power.
In anti-Vietnam war times, some sought to rewrite the game rules with flowers when facing off against guns.
The guns are not gone.

The PC world of the past was wasted by the team now trumpeting their ascendance.
Our anti-PC world allows us to walk away in disgust from a game player unworthy of being called Polite and Compassionate.

Compassion is like tolerance; both need to be balance by objectivity.
Excess subjectivity loses the game.

If everyone were to weed one's own garden, the world would flower.

I would not BE around anyone using that word.....I'd tell them to fuck off and then I would be GONE.

Unless their kids are there, there's no point arguing with them.

But with relatives? People I've known since we were babies?

Oh hell no. They're gonna get a fucking earful. And it won't be dignified.

She is not allowed in my house.

that must be very painful

welcome to DU

My critique:

1. Do not say "Don't speak to me again." To me, it means the other persons opinion is tolerable as long as you don't hear it.

My new suggestion:

2. "Don't mistake my good manners for the fact that if I hear it again, you and your job will hear from me." Put the responsibility on them directly for a moral crime.

then I say something like;

"Please don't use that word. It is mean-spirited, hurtful and distasteful, and when you use it, it makes me think less of you.

And I don't want to think less of you."