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Nuclear Unicorn

(19,497 posts)
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 01:55 PM Aug 2012

Life ...WOW!

Work has been -- so much WORK!

Who knew?

We have been swamped by our recent projects and the boss is away scratching up new contracts. For some inconceivable reason whenever he leaves he relies on me to push this or that through to its conclusion. Chasing vendors. Finalizing contract amendments. Hurdling various and sundry bureaucrats.

And on top of that he keeps adding weight to my purse!

But I feel bad because I used to hate it when Lover Boy worked overtime. Now I'm the one working overtime and still bringing work home. His response? He has dinner waiting for me most nights. I'm OK with that because he's the better cook -- by far! -- but I miss him when I'm not around. This "responsible adult" thing sucks!

Yet, it feels good seeing the things we do amount to something. Seeing dozens of people get jobs feels good. The pay is great but the intangibles are leaving me ambivalent: sense of accomplishment vs. missing hubby time.

A few years ago I was just an English major with a lot of debt and not many job prospects. I was hired to be an Administrative Assistant because I could fake a decent business letter. Now I'm pretty much a project manager learning as I go. What is it about life that makes everything turn-out so differently from what you plan or anticipate? Is it God keeping us on our toes and/or amused or are we just that bad at picking our own destinies?

Don't get me wrong: I'm actually happy. Very happy, in fact. Apart from time away from Lover Boy I feel as if I'm part of something important and when I am around Lover Boy he's still my Lover Boy and he spoils me rotten (and by "rotten" I mean, "exactly as I deserve&quot . I feel like I can do anything now and yet the world looks larger -- and somewhat scarier -- than ever before. It's all so awesome and awe-inspiring.

Life ...wow.

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Nuclear Unicorn

(19,497 posts)
3. Last year, around our anniversary, in fact
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:27 PM
Aug 2012

My MIL was diagnosed with cancer. From the time of her diagnosis until she passed was a little over 2 months. That was hard; very hard.

I still get misty-eyed just remembering her. To see someone as vibrant and life-affirming as her suffer and taken away so suddenly was hard. I think I cried as much as my husband. My mother skated on me and my brother when I was only 10. My step mom is a great woman but my MIL was a powerhouse: beautiful, strong, smart, a family woman. You trifled with her at your own risk but she would swim rivers of fire to bring you cookies and lemonade. Losing her wasn't a 2x4, it was a steel I-beam.

Life ...wow.

 

HopeHoops

(47,675 posts)
4. I lost a brother when he was 13 and a long-time girlfriend when she was 17.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:44 PM
Aug 2012

Perhaps that explains why I'm so fucked up.

Nuclear Unicorn

(19,497 posts)
5. I can't think of anything that would earn you the moniker of "f'ed up"
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:57 PM
Aug 2012

I *wanted* to be depressed when my MIL passed. I wanted to be angry and hurt for me and my husband.

I don't think that's what she would want. She would want he and I to laugh and love and be crazy kids with the stupid, silly hots for each other. I know how much she loved me; if I really loved her I owe it to her.

 

HopeHoops

(47,675 posts)
8. I found a woman in '84 and have been with her since. She gave me three daughters.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 04:28 PM
Aug 2012

I rarely get through a night without thinking about my brother and girlfriend. Some hurts just don't go away. I still consider the girlfriend's death to be my fault. We had a fight and she was chasing me. A telephone pole won.



 

OffWithTheirHeads

(10,337 posts)
2. One thing I have learned in life is that no matter where you are, it will change.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 02:09 PM
Aug 2012

Sometimes for better, sometimes for worse but change is inevitable.

dawg

(10,624 posts)
6. By all means, be responsible adults.
Thu Aug 2, 2012, 03:25 PM
Aug 2012

Work hard and accomplish things. Just make sure that you always have enough time and energy left over for each other.

I always made certain that my wife and our sons were my top priorities. I paid a price for that, professionally and financially, but I still think it was the right decision.

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