If you can't believe what he says, then you can't trust him, or respect him. And those are the foundations of love.

Beyond that, a sense of humor, and the ability to really think. I want a smart man too. He needs to be liberal. He also needs to be a thoughtful and tender lover.

My husband has all these qualities...

I am very lucky!

I feel the same way about my fiancée. and she feels that way about me.

I hit the jackpot, I must say

aaaand Must Love Cats! I would run from a man who hated cats. Cat-hating men are almost always insecure assholes with control issues. Men who love cats are secure in their masculinity and just plain cooler than the others.

and with a good sense of humor who loves my sense of humor too. One who likes people and animals. One who shares in all the chores and who is willing to work on the marriage as a living changing thing.

Maybe I'm too demanding. After two miserable marriages I'm done.

I'll meet you out by the swimming pool, OK?!

Oh well... details, details.

Such men have been rare in my life....
A very long life...

Character, integrity ... a man who can look me in the eyes speaking truth.

Deal breaker: (one of many) The guy who still keeps his little black book.

*sigh*


peace~

I never had one but when I first started dating my (now)wife I was 5 years gone from High School. One year we drove to another state to visit my dad for a holiday. While there we were going through a bunch of old pictures of me and my brothers that my dad had kept and we ran across one of me and my high school girlfriend. My then girlfriend and I weren't engaged at that point - ( I was thinking seriously about popping the question but I hadn't yet) but she saw that picture, asked who it was and immediately said "I want you to destroy that."

For about a half a second I was thinking "WTF!?" but fortunately, in one of my brighter moments, I realized I did want to marry this girl and if getting rid of a picture I hadn't seen in over 5 years of a girl I hadn't talked to in over 5 years and was being kept 3 states away from where we lived would help her feel right then that's what I was gonna do.

I grabbed it, took out to the back porch and lit it on fire.

We've been married 26 years now.

OriginalGeek

Fire!

Thank you for sharing ....
Now little black books are on computers and cell phones.
The world has certainly changed....

To you:

For doing the right thing... being a real man.

Congratulations on 26 years of love and marriage.




peace~

Damn!

deal breakers:

those stupid little goatees
shaved heads
tattoos
motorcycles
looking down on women
racism
bigotry
drug use
being into porn
phoniness
abusive behavior
humorlessness
being a Republican

Note: I'm out of the market; married for 30 years to a real, liberal, intelligent guy with an insane sense of humor.

and no recent felony convictions.

If I weren't such a desperate old loser I'd also be looking for intelligence, kindness, patience and a sense of humor. Deal breakers: fundamentalist religion, right-wing politics, not liking animals, smoking, facial tattoos/piercings (sorry, those creep me out), drug use or more than moderate drinking, controlling or angry personality.

Don't put yourself down!

If you were a "desperate loser" you

wouldn't even have a deal-breaker list!

I have been off the dating market for so long, I forget what it was that I used to look for in a man. I guess it isn't important because I stopped looking. As someone once told me men my age are looking for a nurse or a purse. I don't care to be either.

Attributes I look for in no particular order:

Kindness
Integrity
Creativity
Musicality
Honesty
Thoughtfulness
Humor
Intelligence
Spirituality
Liberalism
Being an animal lover ( especially kitties)
Moderation in all kinds of imbibing

Deal Breakers:

Smoking
Anger Issues
Violent Tendencies
Substance Abuse
Self Righteousness
Republican/RW Tendencies
Unkindness
Selfishness
Racism
Sexism
Bigotry
Lying
Evasiveness


TMI??

I made it as I thought about it.. hadn't really thought about it before

2 arseholes in one lifetime is more than enough. I've long since realized that it's far better to be alone than in bad company.

I know they're assholes and that it's not just me because other people say the same thing about them.

kind, good lookin'.
Everything I have right now.

Deal breakers: bigoted, hot-headed, perfectionist, fundamentalist believer (of any religion.)

You have to be careful what you ask for. Armor tarnishes so easily. I'm still single, by the way, at a somewhat advanced age.

I'm not a bad partner, but I'm a chatty morning person who gets happily caught up in obsessions and irritable if they're not shared. I'm slightly lazy and cry at the drop of a hat and have a dark sense of humor.

So I love smart and patient man, and a good parent with a goofy side to counterbalance my dark. Got to love animals and be curious. Passion is important, in all its forms, but no sulking.

And yeah, I married just that kind of guy. He's too fuzzy headed in the morning and that goofy gets onmy last nerve once in a while but hey, I put up with his shit too.

Appealing?

... back rubs.

fiscal responsibility is one thing, being a cheapskate is another. if you can't afford to pick up ONE meal or leave a good tip, you shouldn't even be leaving the house.

honesty, openness, nonjudgementalism (making that a word), kindness, sense of humor, intelligence, are all important as well, but stinginess will chase me off at light speed.

i somehow found a man willing to marry my crazy ass and the kittehs that come with it. i am so glad i don't have to fuck with dating anymore.

Back in the early Eighties, I once met a "blind date" in a public place..a public "house", actually,

and he ordered quite a few drinks, and I, abstaining for that evening, had exactly one ginger ale.

The tab came to $14.50. His booze, $14.00, my gingerale, $.50.

He asked me for the Fifty Cents.

over a lifetime, i have met a lot of men that has those qualities. from there, it is chemistry. attraction.

when it comes to their own bodies. Honest...sense of humor...non racist...hard working no matter what job he has,would enjoy volunteering, and a confirmed liberal.
Deal breakers include hunters,conservatives,liking the many hate groups that are around and men that feel women should Obey,breed till they drop and dislike women having their own opinion.

Size of a bank account. IOW: Security.

REALLY important:

kindness
patience
integrity
humor
principles
intellect
responsible

and someone I can grow with are important to me.

Any type of antisocial behavior would be a deal breaker.

A willingness to compromise. Desire to learn new things. Nice legs.

Deal breakers: Bigotry. Alcoholics. Socially conservative. Two-timers.

Non-negotiable demands:
Kindness, even when there's nothing to gain by it (Plenty of self-styled "nice guys" are "nice" only to women they're trying to get)
Intelligence
Sense of humor, especially verbal wit
Wide range of interests
Honesty
Fidelity
Sense of adventure, within reason
Wicked glints in the eyes (cannot be faked)

Pluses:
Likes cities, cats, arts events, has lived overseas and loves to travel

Deal breakers:
Alcoholism or hard drug use
Smoking
Being an anger junkie, which usually goes with conservatism
Having rigid ideas about gender roles or anything else
Being unable to talk about anything but work or sports
Bragging about material possessions or wealth
Insufficient bathing, greasy hair
Bigotry
Self-pity

Fortunately I've already found all of the above and more in the love of my life. I think it helps that we were best friends before we tried having a serious relationship. Now it's the happiest time of our lives. It's amazing.


Oh, and deal breakers: Selfishness, meanness, arrogance, lack of consideration for others...