I'm stuck!

Is that you?

You'll have to come over a bridge. I'm not sure where it is, but Ashling can tell you!

Wait...OK, I got up.
Oh hell...I fell down again.
Maybe I should quit getting up?
jeez
Now what?
Just stay down?

Click!

n/t

I understand this sometimes actually happens...

And try getting onion rings made from fresh Vidalia onions and deep fried in olive oil.

"Have it your way?" I think not.

so-called radical leftists like Obama

1. Find car keys.
2. Drive to grocery store.
3. Purchase tarter sauce.
4. Drive home.
5. Prepare fish sticks according to package directions.
6. Put previously purchased tarter sauce on them.

Problem solved.

My trike is uncovered!

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Lol

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On so many levels.

Do I have much time left?

I recognize that voice. Is that you, "Peggy"?

I think I want a different emergency operator...

And I'm using a set of deer horns to look for it.

That doesn't belong to anybody. It just showed up in the living room on the couch Could it be yours?

Just kick it over in the corner and I'll grab it next time I come through. Everybody says I wouldn't know what to do with it if I found it anyway.

until you need it again.

But I keep getting shit in my shinola box.

I have no idea where your brother in law is!

HELP!

lol

The last one turned out to be workable

I want a boyfriend. Please don't put me on hold.

Please hurry!

Inside joke with my doctor who seems to like to schedule my annual probe near my birthday!



Happy holiday season, pinboy3niner!

I won't say 'Happy Birthday' because that probably makes you jumpy.

...and then I smile!

I'm like a frakkin baby boy!

Happy Birthday, he once said!

... so it's only fair that an annual Birthday present later in life be something involving our ass.

I'm on an annual colonoscopy cycle now, after 10 years with UC, but I need to call the scheduling nurse and see about making it a Birthday present.

"It's my Birthday, doc. Gimme a hand."
"HEH! Not the WHOLE hand, dammit!"

It can only be waited out.


Took me 8 hours, and vomiting in the sink. Yay?

There's nothing better than a good Irish whiskey. Just ask Will.

.
.
.
... when a drunken soldier came in who had zipped himself up in his zipper.
I mean -- he had zipped him SELF up in his zipper... zipped it up REAL good.
.
I knew what had to be done, but since I was alone, didn't want to chance
something going very wrong, so I sent him to the nearby hospital with a
driver. I called the ER and said, "Look... I know it's April Fool's Day, but
this is no shit..." and proceeded to explain what they should expect to see
shortly.
.
The medic on the other end dropped the phone laughing... and I heard him
call out to others, "YOU GUYS ARE GONNA LOVE THIS ONE!!!"
.
.
.
Some emergencies were MUCH funnier than others.
.
.
.

.
.
.
.
.
... and virtually no man has done it TWICE!!!
.
.
.

Then the teeth just separate, you don't have to unzip (ouch!).