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Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsMade the proctologist laugh when I was getting my colonoscopy.
I asked why was it taking so long, you looking for Jimmy Hoffa or something.
They can't put me under all the way because of my breathing problems...
Aristus
(66,478 posts)They may have reduced the dose of Fentanyl due to the risk of respiratory depression, though.
ashling
(25,771 posts)They didn't put me under at all. Even put the monitor so I could see.
RiffRandell
(5,909 posts)I'm on the patches for chronic pain and never heard that---I though it was propofol--or whatever killed Michael Jackson.
I'm not arguing with a doc---btw---my neice is in grad school in PA to be a PA--haha.
Aristus
(66,478 posts)Usually paired with a medication called Versed.
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)I don't think that would be a good combination with an alien anal probe.
Edit: One of my medical tags on my dog collar (dog tags, actually, from PetSmart) just says "NO FENTANYL!"
I was totally knocked out for mine last month. I did not want to know a thing. I woke up in recovery feeling fine and not remembering it at all.
Tuesday's with my doctor is total knockout day, and Thursday was partial sedation day. I recommend the total knockout job.
840high
(17,196 posts)thing Iknew was in recovery.
Scuba
(53,475 posts)LiberalFighter
(51,170 posts)Scuba
(53,475 posts)... the Johnny Mathis record.
olddots
(10,237 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)I'm glad to hear you haven't lost your sense of humor. That is very important to staying in good health.
sarge43
(28,946 posts)Now they want to find out how we did that.
In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)sarge43
(28,946 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img]
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)Wait. I've got that scheduled for my wife on Saturday night. Merlot, seeded rye, gorgonzola, extra sharp cheddar, havarti, fresh mozzerela, grapes, kiwi, cantelope - wait. I FORGOT to mention fruit in the subject line!!!!
sarge43
(28,946 posts)talkingmime
(2,173 posts)They took the minivan to karate. I guess I can run out after they get back. I fucking made myself hungry, and the fire is always good. Always good.
Note: I love my wife, always have and always will. She's perfect. Did I mention that she's perfect?
I guess I need to get some merlot and cheese. I think I have the fruit, not sure, but I can pick some up.
Oh, and bread. I need a seeded rye. Nothing goes better with cheese than seeded rye.
Ludes? No, scratch the ludes. Pot? Fresh out of that. Fuck. Now I'm REALLY hungry. MUNCHIES!!!!
She won't be home for at least another hour. She's the instructor. I could borrow my daughter's car but it's so low to the ground that I feel like my ass is dragging along the pavement. Not my kind of car. I'd send my son out but he just took off about 15 minutes ago to get to karate (he's going to be LATE) and the only kid I have home right now isn't old enough to buy wine (also a karate instructor - night off).
So yeah, in about 75 minutes I'll have to sign off to go get munchies (and wine). I just ate a SHITLOAD of food but I'm hungry again and my kitten is in heat (non sequitur).
And did you know it costs like $400 to get a windshield replaced now? Shit, the last one I had replaced was half that cost, but it was also 20 years ago. At least they come to the door to do it, and it does include all three wiper blades. But seriously? How much does safety glass actually cost? Insurance won't cover it because it is a compression/temperature fracture, not an accident.
Did I mention that I love my wife?
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img] keep your fingers and everything else away from my ass [img][/img]
no problem
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)modem. there is going to be a modem. [img][/img]
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)[img][/img] Seriously. Somebody skipped the foreplay.
And I don't remember getting kissed either. [img][/img]
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)In_The_Wind
(72,300 posts)Next
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)She never seems to get sick, but she sure as hell brings home a lot of stuff for ME to get sick by!!!
Ron Obvious
(6,261 posts)Did you ever spend time in prison, doc?
I loved Fletch.
UTUSN
(70,762 posts)I assume they get that a lot, both options and both tedious to them.
Orsino
(37,428 posts)...who can come up with a joke that a practicing proctologist hasn't heard.
Moondog
(4,833 posts)And I have. Ugh. But thanks.
graywarrior
(59,440 posts)I can't wait for my next colonoscopy. The high was sooooooo awesome! You just have to laugh through those things.
RiffRandell
(5,909 posts)Jesus! I thought I had experienced it all...but damn! Good to see you Gray.
graywarrior
(59,440 posts)I miss getting high.
RiffRandell
(5,909 posts)Good thoughts, and funny story.
talkingmime
(2,173 posts)Aristus
(66,478 posts)The protocol for cleaning them states that they should be so clean, you would not feel uncomfortable sticking it in your mouth.
I follwed the cleaning instructions to the letter, but never undertook the self-test...
I'm so glad I'm a provider now; I can delegate the gross stuff if I want to...