because I just don't like bifocals. I need them to see distances, I have to take them off to see well up close, and my students are charged with helping me keep track of them. Including when I just forget them on top of my head.

Whenever I frown and start looking around, someone will get up and hand them to me...or just raise his eyebrows and point to my head.

Walking around the house swearing like a sailor, looking in the bedroom on the dresser, the dining room table, the computer desk...then looking in the hall mirror and see them on top of my bald head.


I misplace my damn phone so much it's a running joke with my kids...the little shits.

I have a specific place I put my keys, phone, and glasses, or I simply don't find them. If someone moves them 2 feet away, I'll walk right by them over and over without ever seeing them. I often have to call my cell phone from the land line to find it...and then it's usually on vibrate, since I usually don't remember to turn sound on and off at the beginning and end of the work day.

Leaving the land line ringing, while I race around trying to hear a distant buzzing noise, and then trying to zoom in on it before it's too late? The story of my life.

I never put the phone back where it should be, I end up leaving it the last place I was in the house; if I was in the kitchen cooking, it's either by the sink or by the stove.

If I'm talking on the phone and doing laundry, I'll leave it downstairs on the ironing board.

Left the damn thing in a shoebox once, still trying to figure out how the hell that happened.

Don't have a land line anymore, I have to wait until either someone calls me and I race around the house looking for it while it's ringing, or wait until my daughter comes home from school and have her call my phone.

Besides that, I'd probably end up strangling myself with them.

"Ikonoklast Dies In Bizarre Sunglass Accident."

I can see the local headlines now, and all my buddies wetting themselves from laughing so hard.

but, I keep thinking I will .... one of these days. they have the sporty ones, too:

and I don't care about being an "old fuddy duddy." I DO care about my general clumsiness, and the way carrying large loads of books, etc. mashes them against my chest and bends the frames up.

That's where Miz t.'s are.
4 or 5 pair.

I am currently looking at three pair, in my truck.


I bought another pair of sunglasses two weeks ago, thinking that I lost the ones I had. I was pissed, because I really like the pair rhat I'd thought that I'd lost.

When I got back into my truck, they were sitting right in front of my face, hanging from the overhead, right where I left them.

Where the third pair came from, fuck all if I know.

I can even go out with my glasses on, while the other pair is being worn like a headband.

Amateurs.

I mean, can you see things a hundred miles away?

Because that would be totally cool if you could.

only to have him send a PM two minutes later

MFM the personification of a Tom Cat ,,, nolabear called it right.

Is it code ?

Don't worry until you look for your glasses and you're wearing them

And not members of the ball team from Detroit, either.


If a tiger thinks you can see it, it won't attack from ambush.

only to find it in the car, after putting all my stuff back on the shelves.

It's like some sort of evil magic trick, no matter how much I have in my wallet, it's all gone when I leave the store.

Can't figure it out.

just look in your reusable shopping bags and see for yourself!

I'm telling you, there's something really spooky going on.