You get them from your kids. That's where they come from.

some sort of pandemic when we were kids way back when.

I also gave them to my mother.

And she retaliated by putting the disgruntled mom's curse on me...

"I hope someday you have kids as rotten as you are!!!"


Didn't work. Not when they were young, anyway.

Now that they're in their 40s, it looks like the curse is coming to fruition.

She must be sticking pins in a little PipiK voodoo doll while she's waiting for her numbers at weekly Bingo games.

For a long time I thought "I'll never have kids!"

I was simply giving you credit for being,....self-aware!

I think you exaggerate, sir!

Is it difficult walking while so wrapped?

I must ask...

if all appendages are free and cellophane is transparent...what is the purpose of being so encased?

Why didn't I think of that?

How very bourgeois.

great red herring.

Now I am becoming hungry... I have a great recipe for Russian Black Bread, you can't find it around here...just Pumpernickel.

Perhaps I'll bake some bread next week!

the route is through the stomach!

the right side of the brain!

Kids are...loud.

I raised three...between the music, all liked something different, the friends and the arguments...LOUD was just the tip of the iceberg!

and then Dad comes home and throws an "all shit hits the fan" - fit

... are there conniption other things?

I was once having an absolute conniption over the way people are always saying "tuna fish," and I discovered that it is actually listed in the dictionary!

"PIN number"

although I have to admit I've used that phrase hundreds of times

all by herself, for any/no reason AT ALL. WE try to avoid reacting similarly.