The royal baby meets late night TeeVee

Leno

I’m sure you all heard the news about the royal baby. William and Kate are the proud parents of a baby boy. Can you believe the media coverage? You’d think it was Kim Kardashian and Kanye West having a kid.

I understand there’s a lot of celebrating going on at Buckingham Palace right now. I just hope they’re able to get up for work tomorrow.

The royal baby has left the hospital. He will now go to one of the royal estates, where he will rest comfortably — for the next 80 years.

This royal baby is third in line for the throne. To which Prince Charles said, “It's a really slow-moving line.”

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Conan

The royal baby has been born. The royal baby was officially welcomed with a 62-gun salute. Because if there's one thing babies love, it's the sound of repeated artillery fire.

Experts are predicting that the royal baby could pump $380 million into the British economy. So the question is: How do we get this kid to move to Detroit?

The royal baby is set to inherit $1 billion. In fact, he's so rich that he's already dating a girl half his age.

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Letterman

Buckingham Palace announced the child's gender. I wish they'd do the same with Camilla.

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Fallon

It finally happened. Kate Middleton gave birth to a baby boy today. The baby weighed about eight pounds. Americans were like, "How much is that in dollars?"

Kate Middleton went into labor this morning in London. When the rest of the royal family heard, they were like, "Oh my God. What's labor?"