Go back to reading my book; that's Ralph Kramden's problem, not mine.

(I exclusively use public transit.)

I have to commute about 35mi a day...

Sometimes it takes 35mins and sometimes it takes me almost two hours!

and go barrelling straight ahead!

Damn those lane closure barricades! They just get in the way!

Are you aware that in some states doing as you voted could earn you a ticket?

Uh oh

At least when I am already close to the merge.

This way, people that tries to sneak in would not bypass my more patient peeps that waited.

Which actually means I mostly stick to the area where most people are.

If you let in any of those left-lane no-good-bastards who are trying to cheat, I'll shoot you.

...but I do do the drama-queen thing sometimes.

I can live with that ...

Car, merge right ASAP. I'm not That Guy.

Bike, total dickhead! Fly up the left, split between Those Guys and normal traffic right up to the merge, and smoothly pop into the lane. Technically it's "being an ass" but you're so small and maneuverable it's like you aren't even there.

and blocking all those lane changers (except for the two I already let in).

Walking is the ideal form of human transportation.

If by some ghastly circumstance I'm driving a car I'm never in a hurry to get anywhere unless it's a life-or-death situation, and I do mean that literally.

else down when they try to cut back in. I won't give them an inch, because if they would have been in the right lane to begin with traffic would be moving at a steady flow.