I experience all of the above every single freaking night.

Fortunately only three ever sleep with me. But falling asleep to their wonderful purring is better than a lullabye

Of course, sometimes there are skirmishes...

And I actually like it when they sleep on my pillow and head.

My Chihuahua sleeps with me, and I am terrified that I may roll over on her because she is so small. For some reason, she likes to wake me up in the middle of the night by kissing me in the face over and over.

My night is not complete until I get some cat butt up in my face as she walks across my chest to eventually settle into one of the above positions, and of course she has to linger a bit while doing so.

Peace

the one who does it isn't that big, but she exerts the force of a water buffalo through each paw. she insists on standing for extended periods of time with at least one foot jammed between my ribs.

the things we put up with from them

which gets fuller by the second because you don't want to get up and, god forbid, disturb them.

but now that it's turned cold, she's sleeping on top me each night. she just walks on me like a rolling log when i turn over.

My best option would be the take the floor for myself!

God for king size beds.

They feel all comfy and warm up against me. Although sometimes they tend to take over completely.

And it's fun to watch a cat approach the bed soundlessly, stop, wiggle its hindquarters in preparation, and leap up.

While I was waiting for the repairmen to get parts (which took two days), and the house got colder and colder, my three cats slept ON me, though normally they just sleep next to me. I like to think they were trying to keep me warm by getting on top of me, since they would have been just as warm themselves by cuddling up next to me.

...only mine was out for longer than that.

I took to describing how cold it was by the number of cats in bed with me.

Instead of "Three Dog Night", I had "three cat night" and "five cat night", etc.

(Now only one is allowed in the bedroom but it was pretty funny at the time.)

which is why Bunny the Cat sleeps outside the bedroom.

"the hat": the cat sleeps between the top of your head and the headboard
"the muffler": the cat sleeps on your throat
"the perch": the cat sleeps on your hip as you lie on your side, and woe betide you if you turn over!

Mine just sleeps nicely on a side of a bed. But he is a Persian so he is very well behaved and quiet.

I'm thinking this as I have to practically perform gymnastic acts just to get out of the bed to go pee at night! Of course the little baby just yawns and goes back to sleep. More gymnastics getting back into bed; sometimes I think I'm insane for putting up with this! I mean, the only time he gets up is to yell at his feeding place, "Hey! There's no food in my fucking bowl, human!"

and then scoot down the middle so as not to disturb the little sleeping darlings.

My old cat used to sleep every night with me. Even though she was a fairly small sized cat, she would spread herself out across the bed. It was always nice and warm sleeping next to her.