Boy, do I ever hear you. The same is true for me in that more of my life is behind me now, than is in front.

I am old. I am watching my parents die...and other friends too.

I guess I'm lucky........I have some very good friends who have been there for me when times were tough. We will always be close and I treasure them.

Forgiveness is very difficult. Especially if you're trying to forgive yourself for whatever dumb thing you did.



Thanks for your thoughtful post...

cross paths here on DU, but when we do, I am always on your side!!! Love, hugs and kisses to you!

What a sweetheart!

I just retired last month. Here I am.... without a clue as to where I want to go from here. I just know I couldn't stand working anymore.

I never invested much in "other people" so I don't have the same experiences as you with friendships. I had a lot of good acquaintances but not many life-long friends.
Doesn't matter. I always spent more time with family and they have been the center of my life.

I'm a "count your blessings" person and don't dwell much on what could have or should have been.

Complaining is also pointless, but still, I appreciate that you listened, lol.

so most of my life is behind me. But I am not complaining, as I have had a good life and accomplished most of my dreams. And I have many loved ones who were there for me. I have had a few bad experiences and I cannot forgive the persons who caused them.

why waste it on those who aren't real friends? I think it's something we all have to come to terms with at some point. And I am not sure unilateral forgiveness is even necessary. Again, it's putting effort into something that may or may not be a worthwhile friendship.

My best friend told me I make excuses for people when I am disappointed by them (Oh, they are so busy, stressed out, have issues...) and I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt. But when those people don't step up and at least try to make amends, it's time to let go.

she'd make big promises - and then fail to deliver. Part of that is because I believe she's attached to material things. That's not so bad; lots of people are like that. Even I can be like that at times.

It's just that, I want more from someone with whom I'm going to invest time and energy, in building a friendship/relationship. And to be honest, she NEEDS more than she gives, so let her find someone who HAS more, cuz I sure don't, lol.

Forgiveness is about not harboring bitterness against people who have hurt you in some way. She is who she is. Blessing her and letting her go is forgiveness.

So I think you already have forgiven her.

wish her well, and have kind of decided to move onward, and to let her move onward (without me).

No bitterness. Regrets? Perhaps, but it's important to remember that in life, at any given time, I think you make the best decision for yourself under the circumstances, using the knowledge you have at that time. What you learn later may come about for lots of reasons - books, hard knocks, advice from others, etc. But that's "later", not "now".

Peace to you.