you might have a worker's comp claim. Contact a workers comp attorney.

I am not a professional and if I were, I would not give advice over the internet. But for what it's worth from my life experience I suggest you see if you can get counseling as part of your employment coverage - either health insurance or workman's comp. Since the incident that precipitated your anxiety was work related, you should be covered. If the anxiety makes it necessary that you take more time off than you have vacation or sick leave for, it might be possible to get disability pay.

If your boss or HR won't help with this, check into the appeal process with your state Workman's Comp system. Find out what other resources can help with this - state or federal employment departments, maybe.

You were a functioning professional until this incident at work. That is the key - the incident was not a private situation, it happened at your place of employment while you were doing your job interacting with a client. You should be covered by the benefits provided by your employer so you can get the help you need to get you back to being a functioning professional again.

Just my opinion as someone who empathizes with you.

What have you advised in the past?

If your job is life threatening, and you are unable to experience safety/have a reasonable fear for your life, Get Another Job because while dead people don't have $$$ worries, "dead" or assaulted are not reasonable day-to-day job concerns.

Workman's comp is a reasonable path to investigate. Bottom line, you will need to regain your mental equilibrium as quickly as possible, so identify steps to begin that process. And whatever made you unsafe, Don't Repeat. (Duh.)

Good luck!

maybe a police report is in order along with a restraining order?

if things are so hand to mouth you need to figure a way around the situation. is there a possibility this guy will be back? if yes get the restraining order. if not then keep that in mind when you go to work.

you said he tried to attack you--what stopped him, or who? do you have that backup in place? can you get a backup for the future? did you stop him? is he banned from returning or coming into the building?

how prevalent is such an occurrence? what are the odds of it happening again?

thinking these things through might help you get through some of this until you can figure out an alternative.

sometimes, even in the most difficult of situations, we have to continue through them. i had to be at work less than 24 hours after my mom died. it was terrible and i had someone to help me but the following day, and the day after that, i had to work on my own. and then i got a weekend break. it was horrible. i wasn't able to get time off for over six weeks!

if you were guiding someone through the exact same situation you are experiencing, what would you tell them? put your skills to work on yourself.

and when you do maybe you'll be able to hold up/keep it together long enough to find and apply for a different job.

i'd be handing out different advice if you had the luxury of a financial support system. unfortunately not all of us are lucky enough to have that. you don't. neither do i.

don't let this experience break you. you're stronger than you think.

I was told by my agency that it was up to me whether or not to file a police report. I had so much going on, and then left for out of state, that I just blew it off. I am not sure that it would be helpful to the client to have criminal charges, it is clearly a mental health issue, so I decided against it. I don't know if that's the right thing or not.

I do not have to see this client again, and our agency is reviewing if he is eligible for home services again, but if he ever is, it won't be any time soon. I am not afraid of him necessarily, and he has received new treatment since the incident (against his will, but the police took him to a psychiatric hospital), and I hear that he is doing much better now with medical intervention.

I am working now on just breathing, trying to relax, and getting access to needed treatment. I am hopeful that I can return to my field, even if not in this position. I am actively looking and applying to other positions outside of the agency now.

You reported the incident, you have symptoms relating to the assault ( that's what it was) & it's up to the organization to have their insurance company pay all claims (mideicine, therapy, etc). None of your PTO should have been used (it should have been workers comp pay), that PTO should be returned to you.

Going through workers comp would allow you to return to work on "light duty" (whatever that can entail). As someone who has seen many employees screwed because of their lack of knowledge about workers comp, I can only urge you to "get thee to an attorney". It's not because you want to screw the organization, but because you want what's best for yourself.

That I would have to use up PTO because of a work related incident. Or that I would go unpaid due to not being able to return bc of said incident. Thing is, there is no desk work if I'm not seeing clients. Seeing the clients is what generates paper work, so, there isn't much I can do in the office. The agency is a big agency, and has multiple facilities, and ideally, I would like to find a job within the company inside a facility instead of providing in home services. But, not sure that they will even keep me if I file a workman's comp claim, even though the incident was absolutely no fault of my own. I did everything perfectly prior and during the incident, and I'm proud of that, it probably saved my life.

And, I did get an attorney. I felt better immediately after speaking with him yesterday, he was supportive and immediately agreed to take my case, which let me know that someone who knows the law well has confidence that I am not wrong about this. It was incredibly empowering and comforting. I really do like the company I work for, and my supervisor and Director (who have both done this job) have been incredibly understanding, helpful, and supportive. Telling me to take as much time as I need and begging me to not just quit rashly and try to recover and return - that they value my work. It's HR that isn't being so nice. But, from here on out, as my attorney suggested, everything will be in writing and I at least now know what they legally have to provide to me. Knowledge is definitely power.

Also, I found it interesting that PTSD actually mentions "being threatened with a weapon". I was not physically wounded thanks to my safety training and instincts - but psychologically, I am definitely having a reaction.

Just because your injuries aren't physical doesn't mean you are not injured. It's a clear case of PTSD and the injured part of you is your brain and rightly so.

Please look into that so you can get the help needed to work thru this issue.

for workers comp. As a matter of fact they are in violation of the law for requiring that you use PTO. I'm glad you did see an attorney, he will take care of it. Let him know everything that HR says and does, including the use of PTO. Workers comp judges don't like employers who violate the law.

Congrats, being empowered is one step toward healing.

but I've seen it happen again and again. And all they have to do is come up with some other reason as to why they are letting you go. If it costs them less money, they may just lay me off and let me get unemployment instead of having to pay for me on Workman's Comp. I am going to call my attorney first thing Monday morning. But in the meantime, my anxiety is still off the charts and I just have to suffer and I find that really unfair.

all I can help you with & your attorney can help you with is to allay your fears of losing your job. In regard to them laying you off, unemployment compensation does not replace the company's workers comp responsibility. Here in Pennsylvania, if the workers comp doctor, therapist. etc. refers you back to work, if you see another professional who says you can't return to work, then you don't have to return to work.

I have a very good relationship with my PCP and he knows my history well since I've been seeing him for years. He knows my baseline, and I am not at baseline right now. I am sure that he would have no problem writing something to say that I am not at my baseline and need anti-anxiety meds, but the company is saying they won't pay for it. He would probably also be willing to write me for time off work if I need it further. I really wish I could just go back and jump right back in, but just thinking about it makes me have a panic attack.

At my attorney's suggestion, I am only communicating through emails and printing them out, so that I have all communications in writing. THe first one I printed was me asking to see an MD and them stating that I had to wait, it wasn't necessary yet, and if the Masters level counselor doesn't refer me then they won't cover it.

There are some good anti-anxiety meds out there. I had a different issue but had debilitating situational anxiety for years ... once it was diagnosed and I took meds only when needed, my life completely changed ... I almost never need to take them at all now, but keep the script just in case.

The right meds would probably be a big help. I think your employer is an idiot for not getting you to the doctor right away.

I wish they would have allowed me to see my PCP at least (can't afford to if they aren't going to cover it). He could have at least just given me a couple of meds to get through the weekend. The fireworks are really bad today and I'm jumping out of my skin. Ugh.

You're not alone. Grad school gives us inadequate preparation of this and no amount of crisis management prep is prep enough.

Okay, you know this. It is absolutely fine for you to feel what you need to feel. It's okay to need help, be it pharm or talk or both. It is also fine to push back against your HR department or management.

Acute stress. You know this. You know what happens next. We know that we're the worst clients, but now is the time.

It may be small consolation, but your gen is NOT expected to tough it out. It's also small consolation, but in my first practice, we all had it happen. I know from experience that you can get through it, that it sucks mightily and a metric fuckton of us wanted to quit and go into cruise directing or industrial psych or labwork. It's also small consolation to invoke fight or flight, and remind you to recognize a flight/avoidant reaction.

Here's the gut-wrenching thing that is no consolation now, but will eventually be. Making it through will make you better at your job if you let it. Knowing what trauma feels like from the inside can teach you how to use every tool in your toolbox.

You're not alone. Mine is 17 years back. It gets better. You can do this... And keep reminding yourself that the reason you're here, the reason you chose this career is because you have the empathy, courage and concern to take the risk and be vulnerable. Don't forget that you become more whole by sharing yourself.

Feel free to PM if you want/need.

I am not new to trauma. I had more trauma in my first seven years of life than most people suffer in a lifetime, and it included weapons. I believe that this may have been the biggest trigger for me. Had the client attacked me with his hands, I am pretty confident in defending myself, but weapons - that's a whole other powerless situation that takes me right back to my fucked up childhood with severe domestic violence. Prior to this incident, I have already had symptoms of PTSD, never a formal Dx, but definitely symptomatic, my whole life. But, I was maintaining and functioning, and doing so pretty well all things considered I think. But this has really thrown me for a loop.

I have an EAP session set up. I have secured an Attorney who specializes in my state's Workman's Comp and he has already provided me a lot of guidance on what to do next, what to ask for, and has agreed to represent me if these things do not go the way that they should by law. That in itself provides me so much comfort and security, that I feel better already today knowing that I know what I'm entitled to and how to obtain it and if I can't, that I have support and help in doing so. I have just this morning sent a request, in writing, to HR (as told by my attorney to do) requesting medical intervention at their expense. Hopefully, the company will do the right thing and I won't need the attorney, but I know I have him if I need him, and that is worth its weight in gold.

Maybe now, I can relax a little and focus on healing instead of worrying about losing my house and everything I've ever worked for. I am also hopeful that I can get some medical intervention because I know that this isn't good for my body - this level of adrenaline and hypervigilance - I'm already exhausted with it all.

If your sessions were monitored by a security person (or at least a BIG person)?
Btw, my hat is off to anyone in the mental health profession, it's is not something that I
could do ( I would take things too much to heart) but thankfully, some people have the courage to do it.
Would you say that you are suffering actual panic attacks? If so, I have some ideas, having had a few myself.

In the mean time, is it an actual fear that this event will happen again?
Or is it more of a general anxiety of place and/or the people who work there?

working with clients, especially if you have any reason to believe the person could be violent.


Many, many years ago, as a hospital administrator, it was my job to interview a disgruntled employee
who had filed a complaint and was working her way up the system. I was warned that she
bragged about 'carrying', so I made sure the Security Director was inside my outer office, chatting
with my secretary when the disgruntled employee showed up. I have to tell you, it wasn't a comfort,
though, that she was carrying a very large handbag.

But, the meeting went well and she dropped her complaint.

You may want to talk to your supervisor about this option--not just for yourself, but also anyone
else who may have to work with clients that could be prone to violence.

In the offices, I would have hundreds of available staff members, all trained in crisis and mental health, to assist me. That would be far less scary than going to the home by myself. Ideally, I would like to transfer out of this position into an office position, but not sure how quickly that could happen or if it's even possible. Those jobs are hard to get, even internally, and the turnover rate is damn near zero.

There is no way any agency could provide two workers to each client, they couldn't afford it. Right now, we make money for the agency, if they did that, they'd be losing money unless we saw double the clients which would be next to impossible. I just don't think that this position is going to fit for me any longer. I've done it for just about 10 years now, had a few minor assaults, and now this one. And now, I'm pretty sure I'm just done. I've tempted fate enough on this one I think.

Our whole team does, and it's mostly women. We can't have two people, they wouldn't pay for that. We all have to carry our own caseloads and it's 99% in the home - it can also be in hospitals, in the community, at the agency, schools, etc. - but the primary goal is to provide whole family interventions in their homes.

This incident happened in a client's home. I was by myself in the home with him and his mother. I know logically that this probably won't happen again, I just don't want to take the chance. I'm just done. I always knew it could be dangerous, but until it actually got dangerous and put my life in danger, I just thought of it abstractly. Now, I'm just done I think. I just don't feel that risking my life to provide this particular service is worth it. I don't make a lot of money, and even if I did, I still think that it wouldn't be worth it - but especially not with the low salary I make doing it now.

I think it's just a general anxiety. Just having a moment of mortal fear has triggered my brain and my body.

for professional counseling.

What you experienced is horrifying, but you can't resolve this crisis alone. Don't be embarrassed to ask for help when it's needed.

BTW I've heard that there is some kind of eye movement training with lights that is helpful for some with PTSD.

You are thinking of EMDR and I'm really familiar with it. I've not had it done, but am planning on asking to have it offered to me - not just for this incident, but also childhood trauma. It has proven helpful for many PTSD survivors and I am hopeful that I can get some relief from it.

Last edited Thu Jul 3, 2014, 06:23 PM - Edit history (1)

You may need a good therapist as well. I have PTSD from many years ago, it rarely bothers me because I saw someone who taught me manage it.

I want to see a Psychiatrist to get an eval and to see if I can possibly get a PRN anti-anxiety med to get me through these panic attacks. HR today said that I have to wait until my EAP Monday, with a Masters level professional (who can't prescribe at all) and if that person doesn't think that I need to see a Psychiatrist, then they won't okay it. I didn't get a chance to call my attorney today, but will do so first thing Monday morning - since he said that they cannot deny me medical intervention at this point and I am now having to go all weekend without any type of intervention - and on a holiday that is full of loud noises that are already making me jump out of my skin. The EAP is probably an LPC or an LCSW - and that's fine, and I will do the counseling sessions too - but it's going to be pointless without medical intervention at this point because I can't think straight with this level of adrenaline and stress.

I have a feeling this is just the process for your EAP. First the LISW/LCSW will do the intake and then get you in for med management. Hang in there I think you'll be able to get this squared away.

I am just frustrated that they are requiring me to wait for medical intervention by an MD until after I see a Masters level clinician. Masters level clinicians cannot prescribe, and aren't medical doctors. I would prefer that a medical doctor evaluate me and am not sure why I need another master's level clinician to tell me that I need that - when I AM a professional and am saying it myself - and they have absolutely no more knowledge or education than I do. Seems like a road block to me. I also know that CBT isn't going to be very effective when my anxiety level is this high. If I don't have something to regulate this symptom, CBT is going to be even slower going, or even ineffective, until I can get this anxiety under control. If anxiety could be controlled by sheer willpower, there wouldn't be medications to regulate it available - we always suggest that clients see a medical doctor first to rule out any physical issues AND to see if any medication is required to help them along in their counseling and services. So, when it's an employee, I'm wondering why it's different - my guess is that clients make them money, and I'm costing them money, and that pisses me off.

would benefit from seeing a licensed therapist, it is not HR to decide when you can. sheesh. i just can't believe they are feeding you this bullshit. it is your mental health - you decide.

you tell your attorney all of this and you find a therapist in your community and outside of your workplace (conflict of interest) and go see them. breathe. your health insurance covers mental health care - no doubt. when you see the the provider, let them figure out which insurance to bill. perhaps they will see you pro bono while your attorney straightens out HR. just give them all of the info.

i am sorry you are going through this. i too suffer from severe ptsd and severe anxiety. being threatened with weapons is a big part of it for me.

as someone said, you will have better days…but, you are in the midst of it and it take s time. there are many therapeutic treatment modalities and things you can do to help you move through this trauma. coming here and sharing is a good step. writing about it or keeping a daily journal was very helpful for me.

i was unable to return to work because staying focused is very challenging. deadlines, heavy workloads, conflict, any loud sounds, etc can still trigger extreme anxiety.

spend as much time in fresh air and natural surroundings as possible - avoid anxiety provoking television/radio.