Wondering what you’ll do with your beloved pets when Jesus comes and raptures you up to heaven? For just a $10 fee, After the Rapture Pet Care claims they’ll hook Kitty up with their vast network of Hell-bound volunteers to care for their saved Christian neighbors’ pets.

(NOTE: Everything you are about to see is 100 percent real and authentic. Quotes are taken directly from the After the Rapture website, and all products and services offered are really, actually and legitimately for sale. Nothing has been digitally, visually, contextually or spiritually altered from its original state. Please feel free to, without doubt, cynicism or hesitation, exclaim “WHAT THE F**K” at will.)

To be honest, we’re not entirely sure if this is the most sincerely exploitative scam ever created, or the most elaborate atheist troll we’ve ever seen. But one thing’s for sure, After the Rapture Pet Care is happy to take any dollar from any paranoid-schizophrenic cat lady’s disability check, any time of day.

According the About Us page, After the Rapture started out as a conversation between Lansing, Michigan’s Sharon Moss and a “non-believer” friend named Carol about what would happen to Sharon’s pet “Petey” when the Rapture came for her. It was agreed that Carol, being Hellbound, would take Petey off her hands. From the site: