I usually tell them I do not have Windows as I have an Apple Mac. I think I will try screwing with them as you did when they call me again.

from my mail and the many uncharity calls I get every single day, I am on a sucker list. I have not done anything to get on that list except get old. I can not get them to get me off the list, they waste so much of my and their time. do they think I will get stupid over night. I have told them I know they are a scam and I am never going to fall for it so pick on someone else, nope, get a call the next day. I have told them I have an apple, still not good enough to get them off my back. I have told them I am working with the police to get them. - now we have an internet scam program through the police, but when I called them they said to enroll on-line,I went to enroll on line and the option I need is not there, ugh. I think they have a bug in their web site, but they would not listen to an old lady like me., all those 20 and 30 something guys. Yes, our police are not racist, but they are ageist.

Plus I have reached my maximum blocked number list on my phone. thankfully they have no started on my mobile phone, just my land line.

Do your parents know what you do for a living? Do you think they would be proud to know that you are trying to swindle elderly people in America? Why don't you try to find a job where they could be proud of what you do?

I will have to try it. When I used to get many more live annoyance calls, I did something like that, but I like yours better. I used to tell the person on the other end that they should find a job that they could be proud of and that would at least be beneficial to society, like stripper or prostitute. Somehow, they never took that advice well.

Next time add Republican candidate for the presidency. Fly right past them no doubt, but you'd have a laugh.

that Republican candidates are more honorable "professions" than telemarketers? Not sure that I agree with that, but it would be funny.

I'd say it's a coin toss.

Good job!

But when I get a call asking to speak to me by name (and they mispronounce any part of it), I say "no, you may not" and hang up. I used it a lot before the last election.

Click.

while I contact the FBI.
Their response: click.

If I have the time, I will engage them for a minute or so and then ask them, "Can you hold on for a minute?" and simply put the phone down and do something else until they hang up. I love putting THEM on hold. I do miss the days when our kids were toddlers. They would call for Mr. So and So and I'd get one of my kids to talk to them about their new Tonka or Legos or Land Before Time movie or best yet - get one of my little ones to tell the poor sap on the other end of the line all about Po and Tinky Winky. A pox on them!

I have a foul (pardon the pun) mouth parrot, so if I ever get one of those calls, I'll just let her take over.

My older brother years ago reveled in dealing with such calls, and even once told a telemarketer that he didn't have a phone.

The nonplussed caller actually responded by trying to explain that their conversation could not be taking place if that were true.

Big brother came back with, "Yes, it isn't," which ended the call.



Good on you, TVO!

Their time....and that is the fun of it.

I have only had one of those calls, and I also played the stupid thing. It did go on for a little while, but not very long because when the guy finally got to asking me to just turn on my computer, I told him I didn't have a computer. He was incredulous. "You don't have a computer?????" No, I don't have a computer, I don't know why you would call about a problem with a computer that I don't have. He finally said "I can't believe how stupid you are, not having a computer."

Hmmmmm, I guess I sure am pretty damned stupid, but not stupid enough to fall for that scam.

After getting the call, I did email some of my less-than-knowledgeable friends who might get that same call, just to warn them about that call and how it is a scam. Many of them had never heard of it and I was glad that I let them know.

He is a Comedian who has done a lot of pranks on telemarketers and he is a hoot. He has a podcast on Itunes.

I'll answer: Federal Bureau of Investigation Fraud Investigation Dept

From dear Heather at card services, or medical alert people. The microsoft scam only comes in once every few weeks. I tell the latter that I don't have a computer.

I was getting testy to whoever was calling, even normal people, because I expected it to be scammers, so I bought a Telnote large display callerid so I can tell who is calling. These can be read from across the room, and are well worth the money. It's impossible for me to read the callerid on a phone.

This item is 9 inches wide:



If the NSA is the slightest bit competent, it could catch these people. It's left as an exercise to the reader why they don't.

I feel sad when I get some new hire, one so naive he doesn't yet know his employer is a crook.

Or maybe that's the angle a few of them play.

There are no Microsoft products in our house, but I have played the senile old dude with no computer but plenty of dirty house windows.

Are you insured and bonded? I mean if you or your guys fall off a ladder washing my windows I'm not going to have to call my home owner's insurance agent, right?

I asked the caller what version of Windows I was using. I mean, if they know I have a problem, then they would also know what version of Windows I use.

He gave up too easily. Not much fun there.


another time a young woman called here selling something for elders...one of those "I've fallen and I can't get up" things, I believe. Anyway, I answered using my Old Lady voice and said, "Hello, OMG, is this JUDY? Hello Judy, how are you? How is your mom doing, dear?"

Young woman says, "Oh my mom's fine, thanks"

I say, "Oh that's nice, dear, so glad to hear that"

She says: "Well I'll call back some other time, OK?"

Me: "OK you take care now, Judy!"


But anyway, I've decided that the next time one of those Windows scam guys calls I'm going to play along and pretend to enter whatever instructions into my computer he tells me to.

Then at some point I'll start screaming that smoke is coming from my computer and it's on fire. "Aughhhh!!! You dirty bastard, look what you did to my computer!!!!"

hahahaha

I love when people mess with telemarketers.

I just grunt, say "Hmmmm", "Huh?" and "Ohhhhh"

So far my record is about 2.5 minutes, but I think I can do better.

if you ever want to test the limits of their tolerance, you could run into the bathroom and drop something soft into the bowl while grunting

Uh huh.

It was fun as I kept talking about doing really filthy things to his mother. And his father too. I would be ashamed except these people are worthless scum that deserve not one ounce of compassion.

and he stopped by to have coffee and talk about some computer problems he's been having. I ask them to hang on while I get him. I am sure he would want to talk to them.
They never answer. All I hear is a click.

But he is also 37. For some reason the fact he is a veteran gets him put on the AARP list.

Oh, the fun I have GRAPHICALLY explaining why he doesn't need Cialis!

They don't last long, especially the women.

I have been on it since 1998, have moved across the country and back, and they found me anyhow.
About every 2 months I get junk mail from them.
Nothing has worked to get them to stop mailing it.

before they figure out they are being jerked around. Apparently the word "Apple" is enough to make them hang up!

This one gave up on me a lot faster, maybe only 5 minutes, when I kept asking how they knew which of my computers was sending error messages and how I could tell if I had a windows computer.

Scammer: "Your windowns computer is sending error messages showing it has a virus."

Me: "But how do you know which computer is sending the error messages?"

Scammer: "It is your windows computer."

(this sequence repeats a couple more times)

Me: "I don't understand what you mean by windows computer. My computers don't have any windows."

Scammer: "It is your computer that has a windows operating system."

Me: "I don't know what that means; what do windows have to do with computers?"

Scammer: (repeats) "It is your computer that has a windows operating system."

Me: "How can I tell if I have a windows computer since my computers have no windows?"

(this sequence repeats)

Scammer: "When you bought the computer they should have told you it was a windows computer."

Me: "So how can I tell by looking at my computer that it is a windows computer?"

Scammer: *click*

I was disappointed; this one didn't have nearly as much stamina as the last ones.

I had a guy call me the other day and my caller id said PERU

Me: Hello?

Scammer: Hello Miss, i am calling to inform you of errors on your windows home computer

Me: Wow! Your calling from Peru? I have always wanted to go... what kind of food to they serve there?

Scammer: No ma'am I'm calling from NYC.

Me: your call says Peru! How can you be calling from NYC when your in Peru?

Scammer: Please log into your home computer and...

Me: I cut him off. Are you sure your in NYC? Where? I live there. I can come down and deal with this in person if I need too.

Scammer: I am in Manhattan, so please ma'am can you go to your computer and open your windows?

Me: Dude, it's cold! I'm not opening any windows! So where in Manhattan? I love Manhattan, although I'll bet Peru is kinda of a cool place.. I've heard that they have good beer and...

Scammer: MA'AM ( urgency in his voice) please go to your home computer and open up your windows!!

Me: I'm not at home, how can I open any windows?

Scammer: *click*

it's way better to just have fun with them. Because they're never going to stop calling, and getting pissed off only raises one's blood pressure.

I just wish I could think fast enough to customize my replies to them.


I've actually thought of buying a relatively inexpensive voice-changing device so I can pretend to be a toddler or something.

Them: "Hello"

Me kid: "Hewwo?"

Them: "Is your mommy home?"

Me kid: "Yah."

Them: "Well can you give her the phone?"

Me kid: "No. She busy. She taking a nap with uncle John"

Them: Hopefully stunned silence before hanging up quickly.

hahaahahah!!!

It's free to download on the Internet. It doesn't require an anti-virus, and it's truly the easiest and most user-friendly system I've ever seen.