The DU Lounge
Related: Culture Forums, Support ForumsTo the Seasoned Pet owners: How do you know when they WANT to go?
I had a dog who died spectacularly, with all of us standing above her as she gasped her last breaths. It was sudden and the timing was remarkable since we were all home when it happened.
Our second dog died soon afterwards, but we were away at school, so it was my mother's job to drive her down to the vet's office for the final goodbye. I wasn't there to see the signs of decline, except for the arthritis that was beginning to cripple her.
Now my dog is riding that roller coaster ride right now. She looks confused sometimes when her legs don't work as they should, but there's no question in my mind that she's working her way through the new normal. There are times when I think she's in that craggy old age stage because she intentionally ignores her dog food, knowing that I will run out to buy chicken nuggets. Which she relishes.
I figure, as long as she seems to have a zest for food, I should ignore everything else.
Arkansas Granny
(31,519 posts)they used to or need a few accommodations, then do what you need to in order to make life easier for them and cherish the time you still have with them. However, if they are in pain or sick and life is no longer enjoyable for them, it's time to make that decision, even if it's painful, and be thankful for the good memories you have.
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)high tolerance for pain.
magical thyme
(14,881 posts)In his final week I syringe-fed him electrolytes to keep him drinking. And he stopped greeting me at the gate as he had from the time we moved here. Instead, he started standing in front of the drive-through gate and staring toward the road. And at other times, standing and staring into the woods, instead of up toward the house.
When the first excavator came to check out a spot to bury him, after he left Algiers started standing on that spot, waiting.
When the second excavator came and suggested a different spot, after he left Algiers started standing on the new spot, waiting.
It wasn't until after he was gone that I realized that I had for several years been hoping that he would go peacefully in a nap behind the barn so that if I couldn't bury him here at home that his body would be in a spot where we could more easily get him onto a flatbed to drive out the drive-through gate.
Also, about 6 months prior to his becoming ill, he started leaving Dahli and me alone in the riding pasture when I was working with her. Before then, for years he would always come with us while I was working with her, and graze off to the side. That last summer, he would come to the pasture with us, hang around for a while, and then walk back to the barn and go inside where she couldn't see him.
I realized later that he was preparing her to be without him around to take care of her.
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)The hardest part is understanding what they're trying to communicate in a timely manner to do something for them.
I'm going through a list of things I shouda couda done to improve my dog's life, but my husband reminded me that I made the greatest choice of all by changing vets when she was eight years old. At that time, she was having one collapse after another. Now that I'm remembering it, the signs were all there. Things that I had blocked from my mind.
But I wasn't willing to put her down on one vet's opinion, so I went to a second. The second diagnosed her with Addision's disease and in three days my dog had normalized.
We gave this little runner seven more years of life, so I'll hold onto that thought as I hope this is just one more bump we'll get through.
riderinthestorm
(23,272 posts)one dog woke me in the am, his face right next to mine, a huge nosebleed from the cancerous tumor in his head had erupted and he was crying in fear and pain. One cat lay down and wouldn't get up (diabetic coma). Another cat lost his bladder control and was literally dribbling urine all over the house - he was oblivious to it - he just wobbled around (thyroid condition). One horse foundered so badly he couldn't take even one step (final stages of Cushings disease).
I could go on and on - I've had a lot of animals and too many sad endings.
One thing though that I'm convinced however, as long as their systems are moving - bowel, bladder, appetite, thirst, exercise (whatever form that takes), I'll hang in there with them.
I currently have a 38 yr old horse who is blind and has a neurological condition called shivers which means any movement he makes is seriously bizarre and sometimes scary, but he's happy to go out every day. Cleans up his food. Drinks plenty and and has regular bowel movements. As long as his owner is content I'll continue to keep on keeping on with him.
Severe pain. Terminal illness in its end stages. A failure to thrive in their late years as demonstrated by the lack of desire for food or water, the inability to get up, depression (oh yes, they certainly get depressed) that can't be jollied out of them... These are some of my indicators.
Good luck Baitball. I'm so sorry about this. It's always the worst of days when we lose our friends and family...
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)dog has rebounded so many times before that it's a wait and see situation.
However, both my husband and I are going through the preparation ritual. I purchased a really nice 2014 Christmas ornament and took a photo with my dog, which I know will make it on the tree every year no matter what happens. And my husband, who was sealing a chair he had refinished noticed that the dog's hair was prominently trapped inside the sealer. He could have sanded it down and refinished it, but decided to leave it there.
underahedgerow
(1,232 posts)and faulty valves diagnosed at age 8 years. From the time of diagnosis we knew we had about 2 years... and the clock counted down. I gave her the best meds I could find to manage her condition, but mostly I just coddled the little girl. I carried her up and down stairs, only walked her a little bit, setting her down for pee and poo. She rode along in my basket and in my arms everywhere I went. She was soooo happy to be out and about even though it was tiring. She loved meeting people and other doggies, a more social little pup you wouldn't know.
Exactly 2 years after she was diagnosed she had her first heart attack, waking up shrieking in the middle of the night. I knew it was the beginning of the end. She recovered after a couple days, but markedly weaker. We met up with all our doggie friends in the coming days because we knew the end was near. We'd meet in the park, she'd sit in the grass and in their laps giving and getting a million kisses and treats and love.
A couple weeks after that she had another one in the early evening, and another one a couple hours later. Sweetly, it was the evening my friend came in town to say his goodbyes to her because we knew it was nearly time, so he got to hold her and watch over the 2 of us as she continued to fail. Towards midnight, she just wouldn't let go and was struggling so hard, so I decided to give her a doggie tranquilizer to calm her down, and hopefully let her pass. It did calm her down, for the night and her breathing slowed down so she wasn't in such distress, but clearly failing. In spite of her weak little heart, she just wouldn't let go, weak heart, strong heart. I kept telling her it was ok to go, maybe she was waiting for my daughter who couldn't bear to come over and see her go though.
I took her to the local rescue association in the morning to have her put down, wrapped in a blanket, in her basket... They were so incredibly kind and compassionate, sweet and simple. He gave her a sedative and I held her while he gave her the last one, and she just died in my arms. She had a wonderful life, my little girl. She traveled all over the world with me, through good times and rough and everyone always fell in love with her.
My vet had been on holiday when Winky died, and I passed by to tell her later on that she'd gone. I asked if I had done enough, and she told me with a lovely look 'I would like to be the dog in your house'... which was a really nice compliment.
It took me a year to find Kevin, my Jack X. I swear I looked at 1000 dogs before finding just the right one, and he's a really amazing little man. I know he'll tell me when he's ready to go, hopefully not for many years, and the most important thing is that he's not suffering and has a good quality of life, whatever it may bring.
Just listen to your heart and listen to your pup and do the best you can.
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)underahedgerow
(1,232 posts)years on.
There's nothing like the love of a dog...
You'll just know, is all. xoxo
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)My dog was suddenly diagnosed with kidney disease, the very same week I was diagnosed with breast cancer. We had to send her to dog heaven one week later. She passed softly. She would not eat, drink or walk anymore. We gave her lots of lovins that week.
Blue
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)At least she gave you every sign you needed to know it was the right time.
Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)We didn't know she was sick, she hid it well. Sometimes I wonder if she passed so I could live. She was a very good girl.
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)Dont call me Shirley
(10,998 posts)Pets and ear scratches from me.
mythology
(9,527 posts)It's the one awful thing about having pets, but they are still completely worth it.
I don't know that I've ever really known the right time. I don't think that we really can. We do the best we can based on how we know them, their behaviors, their patterns.
pnwmom
(108,980 posts)when he, unbeknownst to us, was dying of cancer.
We'd taken him to the vet and called the office several times during the last couple months. We told the vet he was losing weight and in pain and having trouble breathing, but the vet insisted that he just had diabetes and that, with the insulin shots twice a day, he was getting better (and that he wasn't in pain, or having trouble breathing, or limping). The vet said it was GOOD that our dog had lost weight, that he was too fat before.
Our biggest fear -- which we expressed to everyone at the vet's office -- was cancer, so we hoped the vet was right.
We finally took him to a different vet's office for an x-ray and our worst fears came true. He had cancer everywhere. We had to put him to sleep just a couple of days after the old vet told us that there was nothing wrong except diabetes; and that if he wasn't eating, it was because he was manipulating us.
The new vet said that some dogs are very stoic about their pain -- but we knew he was suffering. We just couldn't get our old vet to see it. We still feel so sad that our sweet sweet dog suffered with cancer, for months, without pain medication.
So even if you're not ready to let your dog "go" now, at least make sure she's not suffering. And if you get a bad prognosis from the vet, you'll be able to indulge her all you want before she goes.
It's so hard to lose a pet, I know. I'll be thinking of you.
Baitball Blogger
(46,740 posts)I've voiced the same concern to my vet. My dog has a very high tolerance for pain. Next visit we're going to aspirate? a lump on her leg joint, which we assume is rheumatoid arthritis. I was the one that said I wanted to check for cancer.
pnwmom
(108,980 posts)that your dog needed strong pain meds and wasn't getting any.