but if someone stole money from me, even if it was years ago, and then came asking for more, I would politely say they already had all the money I was willing to give them. I'd also point out that they already received the best of my good will when I didn't have them put in jail for theft. As for getting back in good graces, I doubt that would be possible since the person was a thief to start with.

Maybe it is Tough Love -- actions have consequences.

I said the other day here that personal change must come from within. You can present someone with all of the advantages of changing their behavior, but you can't actually make them change until they become receptive to it.

In your scenario I'd see someone faking transformation just to get the money and then reverting back to their old ways afterward. But you never know...change is possible in everyone.

spite from the other person, right?

Moralizing and creating all kinds of provisions is sadistic. Give freely and accept that once it leaves your hands its gone. Easy come easy go. Hope for the best, but don't subjugate someone in need to your expectations. If this upsets you, then don't give and perhaps and watch a person suffer, because they didn't measure up to your expectations.

It might make the protagonist feel better for awhile, but that feeling would fade and there would probably be payback for the "punishment".

What is "my" motivation? To me, that is what defines whether it is vengeful or educational perspective.

I tend to be rather subtle in HOW I get it, but I've had some fun doing it.

as for me, the friends who have done something like this, they are simply no longer my friends, i will not deal w. them again

in the scenario you describe, you are just going to end up involved in a lot more bullshit and drama, they robbed you of money and hope once, you're going to let them rob of time and energy now? that's not a good plan, if you need revenge (and revenge is a great thing, don't get me wrong,) get it in the dark and they never know where or who it came from -- not this idea where you're making someone hoop jump for you and they know damn well what you're up to

now if it's truly a story plot, fine, enjoy, but if the plot is just making some "bored" woman jump through hoops, it sounds sadistic, and i don't like either the woman or your character, so if your character is an anti-hero, he had better be funny or outrageously amusing or something to keep me reading the story, revenge plots can be a lot of fun

but in real life revenge is often a very stupid thing to do, because you end up losing even more than you already lost (think oj simpson, to get revenge on the dumb-asses who stole his sports crap, he put himself in prison? real fucking smart!)

Yes. I believe in revenge in some cases. However, I believe that Karma will take care of most of it for me. I honestly don't seek out to get revenge on someone, either. If the opportunity arises, that's different. I feel it's sort of Karma's way of saying, "Here ya go."

In the scenario you've described, I wouldn't call that revenge. If someone stole from me, there would be no reason for me to voluntarily offer them anything else. If I "suddenly become wealthy" and the family thief did not, that would be Karma.

where a religious, moderate republican was discussing Newt's candidacy for the presidency. He said sure, the religious right should forgive him for his infidelities, but that doesn't mean that they should trust him. He should earn that trust by running for and serving honorably and competently in lower offices before running for president.

I feel the same way about your hypothetical situation. Revenge? No. Forgiveness? Yes. Trust with a large sum of money? No, not until that trust is earned.

The good/weak get hurt. Life is not fair. But revenge isn't going to make it fairer.

He said that if someone asks for your shirt, you should give him your coat as well.

And that if someone hits you on the cheek, you should turn your face so he can hit you on the other cheek.

Personally, I believe in the principle of "grace" -- that is "unmerited favor" as a moral force for good. The extension of unmerited favor creates a dynamic in the recipient that may change a heart, a way of life, a people.