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KamaAina

(78,249 posts)
Wed Apr 8, 2015, 01:00 PM Apr 2015

Wedding Ruined After Groom Accidentally Serves Guests Ketamine Instead Of Powdered Alcohol

http://wundergroundmusic.com/wedding-ruined-after-groom-accidentally-serves-guests-ketamine-instead-of-powdered-alcohol/

A wedding in Providence, Rhode Island, last weekend has been ruined after the groom accidentally served guests ketamine instead of powdered alcohol.

Groom, Elvis Montello, made the mistake after buying the powdered alcohol as a cheap alternative to champagne....

“I’d also bought an extremely large bag of ketamine for myself and a select group of friends, for the after-after party, and somehow managed to mix them both up,” revealed the newlywed who was named after English singer-songwriter Elvis Costello. “I was running around like a headless chicken trying to make sure everything went off to plan and I never even tasted it before sending it out to toast the wedding.”

“It was pretty obvious to me what had happened as soon as I tasted the “champagne”,” he said while making the the inverted commas sign with his hands. “I guess most of the guests just thought I was a cheap bastard and skimped on cost, which was true, and they proceeded to drink their entire glasses.”




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Wedding Ruined After Groom Accidentally Serves Guests Ketamine Instead Of Powdered Alcohol (Original Post) KamaAina Apr 2015 OP
Some lucky girl got that guy! Sanity Claws Apr 2015 #1
I think this is a kind of low-buck "The Onion" The Velveteen Ocelot Apr 2015 #2
Precisely. KamaAina Apr 2015 #3
Why does this remind me of Zach Galafinakis in the Hangover? Initech Apr 2015 #4
This site REALLY likes ketamine jmowreader Apr 2015 #5
Mmmmm... ketamine donuts. KamaAina Apr 2015 #6
paging Dr. Lilly olddots Apr 2015 #7
It's too bad this story lacked any humor, or Jenoch Apr 2015 #8
^this^ Tuesday Afternoon Apr 2015 #9

jmowreader

(50,562 posts)
5. This site REALLY likes ketamine
Wed Apr 8, 2015, 09:31 PM
Apr 2015

"Ketamine is 'delicious on toast'"
http://wundergroundmusic.com/ketamine-is-delicious-on-toast/

“It’s actually good any time of the day,” offered mother of three, Jessica Holsbury. “I like to have it with some ice-cream in front of the telly with my feet up, and my husband enjoys it on tuna sandwiches.”

“Oh, and the kids love it too,” she continued. “They’re never bored with their lunches when they contain ketamine.”


"Police Alert over Super Strong Ketamine Made for Dinosaurs"
http://wundergroundmusic.com/police-alert-over-super-strong-ketamine-made-for-dinosaurs/

If you think that you or someone you know may have bought some dino-K then police urge you to “keep some of it in case any roaming dinosaurs have escaped Jurassic Park and are breeding on a lost world, in which case you may need the ketamine for more than recreation”.


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