Please give them a try

http://www.veteranscrisisline.net/

I know that you are reaching out here but I don't think anyone has the expertise. You should call the hot line. They will be better equipped to give you what you need.



I'm sorry you are suffering

I really feel like I owe it to everyone who replied to say thank you.

Yes, I have reached out to the crisis hotline many times in the last two months. I even went to the hospital on their prompting for a few weeks recently about a month or so ago. I'm currently not working and I'm in several very aggressive treatment programs. I usually spend several hours a day at the VA and I have at least two appointments / groups on a given day.

I believe you just need to find the right doctor, the right approach, the right mess and patience. I know that seems so very daunting but you are already on your way

I am so very glad you responded. I wish I could actually be any help. Please just keep up the work and I am sure things will improve. Just sucks that it takes time.

great big one

all the good vibes and virtual hugs I can. Please, please, please call and get help.

here's the national suicide prevention number:

1 (800) 273-8255
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline

As I mentioned above, I'm really grateful for all of the positive replies I received. Again, thank you.

They have a lot of specialists in PTSD.

I am both a veteran (Vietnam) with a 70% disability from PTSD and a retired psychologist who has done a lot of work with PTSD cases, and I can tell you that people can certainly reduce the symptoms with the proper help. Your case sounds complicated, and I'm not going to play telepsychology with you. You really need to address this stuff with a good therapist. Also, if your PTSD is combat-related, you may well qualify for a VA disabiity, which certainly pays better than SSDI.

Take care, Brother.

I'm actually service connected and rated 100% P & T for PTSD. Just today I received notification that my federal employee disabity retirement was approved. I'm still waiting on SSDI. I'm in a unique position where I will be able to support my family solely on my disability incomes - which provides an incredible sense of security to me.

Again, thanks for the reply.

You sound anxious and stressed about how you've been feeling and talking about it is an important first step. You've gotten some solid advice - and support - on this thread, especially from Jackpine Radical who's a professional. I really hope that you take his advice and seek out the kind of specialist he advised. Of course your wife is worried - who wouldn't be? But you owe it to her and to your kids - and especially to yourself - to do what it takes to feel better. It doesn't sound easy, but I've often felt crazy and out of control myself and found that deciding to do something is half the battle. Your family loves you and you have friends on DU who also care. Please let us know how you are...

One of the most helpful things that I've learned is that no feeling is final. I might struggle with feeling suicidal and hopeless, but eventually those feelings and impulses will pass. Yesterday and today ended up being great days for me. All I had to do is stick out the feelings, no matter how bad they are.

I'm in AA, know that's not always popular here, but what I've learned there has worked for me. The reason I mention that is what you said has been one one of the most helpful things that I've learned and I try to remember that always. I used to drink - self medicate, actually - when I felt so bad that I thought it didn't matter. But in AA I learned that these feelings do pass - and I can get through them. Pretty simple, actually, but it took me awhile to learn it...

I'm so glad to hear that things are looking up for you. There are always bound to be rough times, but they won't last forever, I know. Thanks for getting back to me! That's one thing about DU - and I've been here since 2003 so I've seen quite a lot over the years - that people here genuinely do care and want to help when they can. And I'm always grateful to be among them... I'm glad you're here, too. Hang in there! It does get better...

He or she needs to know this stuff to get you the correct and best treatment.

Just best wishes for your recovery. Reaching out is an important and brave step.

I sincerely appreciate every message of support that I've received.

Please, please make an appointment at your local VA Mental Health Services
clinic and tell them everything. http://www.mentalhealth.va.gov/gethelp.asp

I actually am in a very intensive psychiatric rehabilitation program at the VA. It runs 5 days a week and on any given day I have between 2 and 4 classes / groups / mental health appointments. As you can probably clearly see, I have a long ways to go. Some days I feel more optimistic than others.

Thank you again.

With time, and the right help, psychiatric problems can be brought under control.

I'll pray for you. You sound like you are a mindful person who is aware of what you are dealing with. That is a big part of the battle already won.

Some days I feel better than others about my future. The other night was very unsettling to me and really upset me. Today and this evening I'm actually feeling substantially better. I feel sometimes that I will be able to create a life worth living for myself and I become excited about my future.

When it comes to life and death, I don't give one little shit about what other people think of me, I do what I need to do to survive. You need to tell the professionals about what you're experiencing, and not worry about whether or not they'll think you're gaming the system.

-- Mal

own behaviors and feelings and your emotions. You understand how they effect the people you love, and who love you. You're taking action every single day to deal with these extremely difficult issues and you are making progress.

Mostly, you have the common sense -- and courage -- to express your needs and to ask for help and to reach out to various people, communities and organizations that can help you.

You are actually rather remarkable, strong and courageous and you have the strength to work your way through all this, and come out the other side as a healthy, whole human being. It's all a process, and you're doing everything you can, so that says a heck of a lot of cool about you. Appreciate yourself and the efforts you are making. It will get better, that's for sure.

Big hugs.

As Jackpine said, I'm not going to play teletherapist with you either, but I think there's hope. If you close up and keep all that to yourself, your prognosis is not as good. I think that's pretty certain.

All the best to you, Victor.