Pissed Off God Levels Toledo For Failing To Elect Prophetess Opal Covey Mayor

(the images are hilarious, and so are the comments--SAVE THE MUD HENS!)

A Disaster of Biblical proportions


Pissed Off God Levels Toledo For Failing To Elect Prophetess Opal Covey Mayor


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Take that, Ohio, fuckers. NOW you wish you were stoned.


Hey, Toledo, whatcha doin? Not smoking legal pot? WE HEARD. And we also heard you had “reasons” for not legalizing it. Whatever, you do you, with your “principles.” But we aren’t even having this conversation right now, Toledo, because you don’t even EXIST anymore. Just a little while ago, God deleted your account, sending fireballs of destruction, and dragons from hell, and whatever else He had in His holy arsenal of weapons, because YOU, unfaithful heathen toadfucks, failed to elect His girlfriend, prophetess Opal Covey, as your mayor. Oh Toledo, what hath you wrought?

We learned you about Opal last month. She’s 75 in human years but AGELESS in prophet years, and she’s been running for Toledo mayor (and losing) since 2000. The seat, according to Opal (AND ACCORDING TO JESUS) is rightfully hers, though, which makes it unfortunate how corrupt Toledo voters keep stealing the election from her by voting for other people.

Oh, and did we mention she speaks in tongues? Yep, she’s fluent in that BLOBBER BLOBBER Jesus gibberish true believers ejaculate out their mouth-holes when they’re being led by the Holy Spirit.
Anyway, she lost Tuesday night. And not only did she lose, but Toledo voters stuck their fingers in Jesus’s eyes REAL hard, giving her less than one percent of the vote!

So hey, Toledo, this is you right now LOL:





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