He's sitting right the fuck next to me! Now I'm all creeped out!

He walked up just after I read this to ask a question. I busted out laughing and couldn't stop. He said, "Nevermind. I'm just going to go home now."

Yeah...poor guy. He's used to it. I pick on him all the time.

the same item that was the weirdest thing in his office

I went on vacation for 2 weeks. When I got back my boss's office was clean and neat. I found out two hours later that in my absence, my boss had been fired.

Company car keys. In his frikin ear. The keys for the car I was going to be driving soon. Gack. Its one thing to do that with personal keys, but a set of common keys? Classy.

Wait. That was normal.