for H2O man to provide hydration where needed such as crops, people and animals. Also MineralMan would provide essential dietary minerals to children, the elderly and animals and the soil and water sources.

The enemy would be drought and famine and poor genetics and old age.



I have to go stir my oatmeal.

The other would not.

It would be vanquishing loud golf trousers.

to tell all those kids to GET OFF MY LAWN, DAMMIT!

I can only speak for H2O Man, of course, as I’ve not only read at least 90% of the things that he's posted on DU over the years, I’ve written all of them. More, I’ve thought about them, generally speaking. So I think I’m in a position to address this fascination question, or at least 50% of it.

H2O Man is known to write long, frequently painfully boring essays, filled with esoteric historical facts, and arcane sociological insights. Often, for example, he quotes -- or paraphrases -- from political books that no intelligent person has opened since March 10, 1972. He feigns gentleness, but at times, those turbulent forces that rage within his soul burst through -- especially when he argues with himself.

In my mind’s eye, the high-energy super bad people would be overconfident that they could easily crush the old fellow we know as H2O Man …..if only they could locate the end of his OP/comments on threads. Yet, as we know all too well, the guy can go on and on and on and on and on and on …..it’s like his children often say, he goes on endless rants about topics that he alone -- and virtually no other human being -- finds fascinating.

Soon, that high-energy anti-good person would be yawning …..then nodding off. Then, H2O Man would use his limited powers to invade the victim’s dreams. The very bad guy would surrender -- anything to get away from these boring essays!

Note: Rumors that the US intelligence agencies had considered reading H2O Man’s essays to prisoners at Guantanamo have been denied by the State Department.

... the ability to lull the opposition into restful sleep is probably almost sort-of as good as the ability to kill them. So to speak. Like children, they're so cute when they're asleep! If, as Mr Stalin had it, death solved all problems ("No man, no problem.&quot , then surely problems are at least put on hold when one is sleeping. Ah, if only we all possessed such a valuable super power. The world would be a much more peaceful place.

But noisier. All that snoring.

-- Mal

H2O man is that uncle everyone has or wants to have. The one you loved as a child because in your formative years he fed you many, many facts and truths and made you learn that everything is connected to the past and the future, and that there are consequences, and he would endlessly and generously answer every time you asked, "Why?". And as an adult you appreciate even more because he still knows tons of things you still don't.

That's so nice.

Sorry, couldn't resist.

H2O Man contributes the water while MineralMan provides the salts