I've always found that using drugs to improve emotional stress to be an ineffective therapy.

None of us are perfect.

But when you look inside and you look back and you truly reflect, it will challenge you. Can anyone do that and feel really good about themselves? Or maybe, quite possibly, is that the step that takes you closer to accepting your fellow human being? Is that the step that makes you accept everyone as your equal?

We would do it for anyone we love. It shouldn't be any harder for ourselves. Yet it is.

Don't beat yourself up, Tobin. There's always a line of people to do that.

If you think of it as a friend of yours telling you that he/she did these things and that they really feel bad about it and loath themselves for it. Would you try to help that friend through it? I bet your answer would be 'yes'. Then turn that compassion back on your younger, and obviously not so perfect you.

The truly important thing is that you've learned to be quite genuinely good because of it. Not in spite of it.

I think what you're experiencing is truly the mark of a good and introspective person.

There are similar incidents in my own life, things I've done that I deeply regret, and even though they are far removed from me, I still cannot shake them. It's awful.

I wish I knew how to get away from them, to forget.



You are not alone, not by a long shot.

You know what I'm talking about here.

alone.

I think if most of us were honest we all have things in the past that we are deeply ashamed of and like you we're not guilty of a horrendous crime but still have guilt feelings.

also called Special K in the club scene. Still testing though. This was just in the news yesterday.

http://www.newsweek.com/ketamine-can-help-cure-depression-422201

I have heard of ecstasy being used in therapeutic settings especially for PTSD.

Compassion does not arise from ideals of perfection but from
a recognition of and concern for our own fallibility. At the heart
of our potential for health and wholeness is the need for a fundamental
quality of acceptance, an unconditional compassionate presence.
Without this capacity either for ourselves or for others, even our spirituality
can become harsh and uncompromising

It's very easy for me to forgive others. But I can think of something from my past - even something as minor as an unkind thing I said as a child) and be filled with self-loathing.

It's not healthy but I don't know how to turn it off. I don't think I would try drugs but I understand where you're coming from. I've thought of going to a therapist. Sometimes, I think just talking through things with another person is the most helpful thing to do.

This world is so "imperfect" ... I truly do not understand how we can be anything but imperfect.
In fact, flaws are perfect in an imperfect world.

Maybe you are perfectly imperfect.

Here, I think we can all relate to this:

It has helped me tremendously. The only thing we have total control of in life is our thoughts. Meditation is a tool that teaches you to look at your thoughts as an observer, and realize that those things in the past you beat yourself up over mean nothing. They have no bearing on this moment or the future unless you allow it. With meditation the negative thinking will never completely go away but when it pops up, you will notice it right away. If I'm having a bad day and start back into old thought patterns like I'm not good enough, or I'm a terrible person, I acknowledge those thoughts but don't let them drag me down. Then I might explore why they reared their ugly head and just laugh at myself.

No one is perfect, as you said. We all have parts of ourselves we don't much like. The secret is to accept yourself completely, even the flaws. You'll find when you do that negative thoughts will have no power over you.

I never found drugs to be particularly helpful in dealing with my demons.

Yoga, on the other hand, has worked wonders.

I consistently chose the wrong one..

My life is not "the Road Less Traveled" , but the road one should not travel..and I have regrets!

No worries about the drug abuse deal. It's just a part of me that wishes for a quick fix to dealing with a problem that's not going to have a quick fix.

I truly do not feel bad most of the time now days. I just have these moments where I'm sucked back into the past, and my past is filled with pain.